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Is this really worth playing anymore?
By semimmortal 2010-01-15 17:21:36
Sylph.Beelshamen said: I was just wondering, did the second girl take anything of value of yours when she jumped servers? Might be a case of theft if it was true.
But unfortunately, not all of them are.
I know a couple of people who moved server similar to the OP. She just couldn't take it anymore.
The game's purpose was to escape reality and it's hardship even if it was for an hour (or days for some).
Suddenly some Edward wannabe drops by and starts his autobiography in the chat window.
She didn't want to be rude and tell him stfu, but seriously... if I was her, I'd /blist the ***out of him.
Then again, if she didn't move transfer, it'd be quite again in my LS XD
Server: Shiva
Game: FFXI
Posts: 441
By Shiva.Darkmacabre 2010-01-15 17:24:36
Oh hell no....I never gave her one gil. Just a good time. I didn't trust her thaaaat much. I mean I'm the best person I try to be but I'm not exactly a fool either.
 Asura.Hit
Server: Asura
Game: FFXI
Posts: 765
By Asura.Hit 2010-01-15 17:24:50
@ OP;
It sounds like you're using the anonymity of FFXI to safely pursue the need to 1. engage in intimate relationships, and 2. talk about your rocky life/past.
While this is perfectly understandable behavior you made 2 mistakes; 1. Rl is a better environment to seek out a bf/gf, and 2. if your past/present bothers you this much you need to speak with a therapist or counselor.
Good luck.
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Server: Sylph
Game: FFXI
Posts: 3663
By Sylph.Beelshamen 2010-01-15 17:25:47
semimmortal said: Sylph.Beelshamen said: I was just wondering, did the second girl take anything of value of yours when she jumped servers? Might be a case of theft if it was true.
But unfortunately, not all of them are.
I know a couple of people who moved server similar to the OP. She just couldn't take it anymore.
The game's purpose was to escape reality and it's hardship even if it was for an hour (or days for some).
Suddenly some Edward wannabe drops by and starts his autobiography in the chat window.
She didn't want to be rude and tell him stfu, but seriously... if I was her, I'd /blist the ***out of him.
Then again, if she didn't move transfer, it'd be quite again in my LS XD
Well, as I see it from OP's perspective things were pretty far along.. She encouraged him by saying she'll love him forever etc etc, not that it's a vaild excuse for his idiocy, but it's certainly not the same as some Edward pouring out his life story to some passerby female player.
Bismarck.Nevill
Server: Bismarck
Game: FFXI
Posts: 2420
By Bismarck.Nevill 2010-01-15 17:29:35
Shiva.Darkmacabre said: ...Okay cool cool..... but stop derailing my post!! ;; I wanna see more replies like the first few. lol
What do you want? If you wanna quit, quit. If not, log back on.
Seriously, this is just a game. Don't be taken by people you don't know.
I truly trust 2 people on this game, My rl brother and my rl sister's boyfriend.
And I don't trust them THAT much....
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 Fairy.Maimed
Server: Fairy
Game: FFXI
Posts: 348
By Fairy.Maimed 2010-01-15 17:33:32
Shiva.Darkmacabre said: Oh hell no....I never gave her one gil. Just a good time. I didn't trust her thaaaat much. I mean I'm the best person I try to be but I'm not exactly a fool either.
You're in love but you don't trust her? Sounds like you are longing for anyone's companionsip than being hurt over losing that one particular individual.
Broken hearts are a part of growing up. Not to sound insensitive about it but we've all had that story happen to us. "But this is different" doesn't apply, and never does. Everyone's situation is somewhat unique in its own way but at the end of the day, the end result is the same.
It sounds like you knew yourself you couldn't fully trust yourself with that person, otherwise they'd have your gil, account access, etc. It sounds like you just struggle with personal issues than in-game issues imo.
I mean no disrespect when I say this, but you should consider seeing a professional. If you're considering commiting suicide over someone you never met, but felt strongly for, yet you knew you couldn't fully trust.. it sounds like you're missing something big in your life and were desperately trying to fill that void, even if it was done subconsciously.
I wouldn't just quit FFXI, I would avoid any form of social interaction where you feel you will hopelessly fall in love with anyone who gives you more than 10 minutes of their attention, because you will grow up to turn into a very bitter person if you don't get yourself sorted out. Running away from one way of getting hurt won't prevent you from making the same mistakes in IRC chatrooms, World of Warcraft, or whatever else people use to interact online nowadays..
 Fairy.Spence
Server: Fairy
Game: FFXI
Posts: 23779
By Fairy.Spence 2010-01-15 17:34:00
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 Bismarck.Misao
Server: Bismarck
Game: FFXI
Posts: 22620
By Bismarck.Misao 2010-01-15 17:34:12
2 cents
people have buckets, where they toss in their problems n junk. you meet another person with their own bucket. you get friendly, and stuff happens. sure you gain trust and all, but then proceed to dump the content of your bucket into her's. sure NP at 1st, but every time you meet, you toss stuff into her bucket, eventually it overflows, but tolerable. BUT you keep dumping into her bucket faster than she can empty it, eventually it becomes a bother and one hides because the bucket is heavy and overflowing.
yeah that made no sence so i give this
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Server: Sylph
Game: FFXI
Posts: 3663
By Sylph.Beelshamen 2010-01-15 17:36:56
What's it with women? You tell them what's on your mind they are bothered by it. You keep it to yourself and you're "keeping them out" and not trusting them enough.
Fickle creatures.
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Phoenix.Ingraham
Server: Phoenix
Game: FFXI
Posts: 963
By Phoenix.Ingraham 2010-01-15 17:36:58
You just gotta look at the bright-side. Something good had to have come from this.
You might be wondering "What bright-side? I was screwed over here!". Maybe you were, maybe you weren't! Regardless, you were happy for the time you were in love, and that's what matters. You gotta be thankful for that kinda sappy stuff and muster the courage to move on after in hopes of greener pastures.
Then again this kind of thinking hurts a lot more people in the long run. You honestly can't beat looking forward to the future and doing what's important in life though.
Server: Siren
Game: FFXI
Posts: 2191
By Siren.Eagleeyes 2010-01-15 17:37:42
Siren.Murdock said: lets see here. First step to ffxi success, ignore e-***!!!!
this guy needs some courage wolf. 
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Fairy.Maimed
Server: Fairy
Game: FFXI
Posts: 348
By Fairy.Maimed 2010-01-15 17:38:50
I dualbox a mithra and cyber myself when I'm lonely. It's not masturbation because it's technically another character. It's like jerking off in front of a mirror. I think that counts as sex... right?
Server: Shiva
Game: FFXI
Posts: 441
By Shiva.Darkmacabre 2010-01-15 17:39:35
lol I know all these things and I will admit I do need a life... I really do. Truth is I'm a bit insane after all the stuff I've been through and I lose touch with reality for some time. It doesn't matter what doctors tell me or what meds I'm given, the truth is I'm already screwed in the head. Even more so after this. And a deeper truth I hate to say is that I sort of expected this from the start...something in me always told me that something was wrong, but I felt that I should give that small chance of hope a chance. I mean if I lost I'd eventually recover...but if I won...I'd have a bomb-*** gf. Not much to lose there.
Asura.Hit
Server: Asura
Game: FFXI
Posts: 765
By Asura.Hit 2010-01-15 17:40:30
Fairy.Maimed said: I dualbox a mithra and cyber myself when I'm lonely. It's not masturbation because it's technically another character. It's like jerking off in front of a mirror. I think that counts as sex... right?
uhhhhh... sure... /em backs away slowly.
Bismarck.Misao
Server: Bismarck
Game: FFXI
Posts: 22620
By Bismarck.Misao 2010-01-15 17:40:48
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By semimmortal 2010-01-15 17:41:17
Fairy.Maimed said: I dualbox a mithra and cyber myself when I'm lonely. It's not masturbation because it's technically another character. It's like jerking off in front of a mirror. I think that counts as sex... right? 
Fairy.Deist
Server: Fairy
Game: FFXI
Posts: 79
By Fairy.Deist 2010-01-15 17:41:23
Shiva.Darkmacabre said:
For some reason I came (...) to really enjoy her presence.
Sorry, I got stuck on that one line - it had me going for a while.
Anyways - yeah how old are you? Like 15? I am saying this because from what I know - it happens a lot at a younger age. Age? Wtf does age have to do with this? Because like people have stated in this thread already - you need to quit if you are having trouble with the game like you are conveying. And if you are honestly trapped as you stated in your emo moment - then well... my spidey sense tells me that you may be trapped for reasons outside your normal control. But long story short - I get the feeling you are on the younger side.
I would have stated that you have only dated online but you stated that you had a gf who killed died.
But I will still go with the angle that you need some fresh - human to human contact with no medium. While yes, ***like this can still happen irl - but its healthier for the idea that human contact can solve one issue - the closeness.
But I will have to convey myself - that you shouldn't be pulling (as stated before) these "Edward moments" with people online or off. Online - they are here to escape their own reality, their own issues.... last thing they need is baggage from some punk whom they might not even have known longer than a week or so. Offline - people aren't as understanding. But hey - maybe you are going for the edward angle. All the more power to you, but it seems to me it hasn't worked out the best for you - thus far.
So what this boils down to is this - just walk away from the game. If the fun seems to have slipped - find something else that interest you.
Now watch - for giving my 2 cents I get flamed to hell and back.
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Server: Sylph
Game: FFXI
Posts: 3663
By Sylph.Beelshamen 2010-01-15 17:41:26
Shiva.Darkmacabre said: lol I know all these things and I will admit I do need a life... I really do. Truth is I'm a bit insane after all the stuff I've been through and I lose touch with reality for some time. It doesn't matter what doctors tell me or what meds I'm given, the truth is I'm already screwed in the head. Even more so after this. And a deeper truth I hate to say is that I sort of expected this from the start...something in me always told me that something was wrong, but I felt that I should give that small chance of hope a chance. I mean if I lost I'd eventually recover...but if I won...I'd have a bomb-*** gf. Not much to lose there.
Oh shi-
Server: Shiva
Game: FFXI
Posts: 441
By Shiva.Darkmacabre 2010-01-15 17:41:47
I did trust her at the very start but some of the things she did caused a massive decline and no matter how hard I tried, trust could not get back up to 100%
Server: Sylph
Game: FFXI
Posts: 3663
By Sylph.Beelshamen 2010-01-15 17:42:24
Bismarck.Misao said: they send you pix?
The line you are looking for is "Pics or it didn't happen".
Asura.Hit
Server: Asura
Game: FFXI
Posts: 765
By Asura.Hit 2010-01-15 17:42:41
Shiva.Darkmacabre said: lol I know all these things and I will admit I do need a life... I really do. Truth is I'm a bit insane after all the stuff I've been through and I lose touch with reality for some time. It doesn't matter what doctors tell me or what meds I'm given, the truth is I'm already screwed in the head. Even more so after this. And a deeper truth I hate to say is that I sort of expected this from the start...something in me always told me that something was wrong, but I felt that I should give that small chance of hope a chance. I mean if I lost I'd eventually recover...but if I won...I'd have a bomb-*** gf. Not much to lose there.
Seriously though, Talk to a professional, that's why they're there. It may feel like the world is over and your soul is crushed but if you talk it out and take a little time you'll get over it.
As long as you can still breath you'll get by, so suck it up *punches OP on the shoulder*
Server: Titan
Game: FFXI
Posts: 7818
By Titan.Marzbarz 2010-01-15 17:44:56
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Leviathan.Lennavan
Server: Leviathan
Game: FFXI
Posts: 2
By Leviathan.Lennavan 2010-01-15 17:47:31
Shiva.Darkmacabre said:
But after years of playthrough and broken memories I've come to realize FF is nothing more than hell itself.
Then quit and stop posting on FF forums.
Shiva.Darkmacabre said:
Every single friend I met has forgotten me. I spent hours helping them get what they wanted just because I enjoyed it.
So you're complaining you played a game, enjoyed playing it, and...?
Shiva.Darkmacabre said: I met a beautiful girl on here once who became my best friend. We did everything together lol, farming, quests, duo, you name it. Eventually she became my girlfriend. It lasted for 6 months...six entire months before I found out she was married and only used me as a play thing for pleasure. You'd think it's nothing but when I really believed....when I really loved her...it honestly broke my heart.
Obviously you're not the first idiot to think internet love is real. Nor are you the first idiot to make an in game girlfriend and get burned. Nor are you the first idiot to have no doubt heard this before and done it anyways. Nor am I probably the first person who has told you this before you got burned. You're an idiot. Deal with it.
Shiva.Darkmacabre said: Eventually while trying to love FF again I met another while trying to sell an Enhancing Sword. We ended up talking all day and night. lol It was...amazing. For some reason I came to really enjoy her presence. So I told her my life story...about my very first gf who died on her birthday, about my abusive parents, everything.... and about my ex-gf on FF who almost had me at suicide.
Your internet girlfriend had you suicidal? That's pathetic. It's time to quit. I'm guessing this next part is where you made the same HELP I AM TRAPPED IN 2006 PLEASE SEND A TIME MACHINE mistake as before, right?
Shiva.Darkmacabre said:
And so it went on....she comforted me and I fell for her. She promised to love me forever and be at my side. She promised to never hurt me and I did the same. Perhaps now it sounds so foolish but believe me at that moment of romance....reality changes.
That moment of romance only exists in movies, video games (heh, ironic much?) and the minds of teenagers. I can guess how old you are, wanna know how?
Shiva.Darkmacabre said:
Perhaps she loved me too, I'll never know.
She didn't. Neither of you know what love is. Nor did you ever meet in real life. You loved the IDEA of her, not the person herself.
Shiva.Darkmacabre said:
....Today I found out she switched servers and tried to hide from me out of nowhere. Just like my ex... After swearing to never hurt me she did just the same as my ex-girlfriend did.
God I hate teenagers. Know how to know for 100% sure someone is gonna hurt you? You know when they promise not to. Real relationships and adults aren't so insecure as to need that crap.
Shiva.Darkmacabre said:
Laugh at me as you read this, while I cry as I write this.
I didn't laugh, I nearly barfed and shook my head in disgust. Here's what you do: quit FF, keep doing well in school, keep screwing up and whatever and you're set. It's called life. You make stupid mistakes, you get over it and someday you too get to look back on all the stupid teenagers doing incredibly teenager things. You'll get over it. Generations of teenagers have been getting over it. Generations of teenagers have had it harder than everyone else. You aren't special, your case isn't new.
Shiva.Darkmacabre said:
I'm merely a stupid kid who fell in love with the most beautiful girl he's ever met, but in the end she hurt me more than anyone will ever hurt me. I loved her...I still love her. But a few minutes ago I was forced to find where she fled and tell her that I loved her and if she truly never wanted to see me again I'd let her go...because I only wanted her to be happy...
You didn't fall in love. You never met her. If she's the most beautiful girl you've ever "met" you need to meet more girls. It hurts more when you really meet girls and they dump you. Yet you get over it. You didn't love her, you loved the IDEA of her. You don't still love her, you still love the IDEA of her. Then you stalked her. Now you're creepy. She doesn't want to see you again or hear from you again. What do you need, a postcard?
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Phoenix.Ingraham
Server: Phoenix
Game: FFXI
Posts: 963
By Phoenix.Ingraham 2010-01-15 17:47:56
Fairy.Maimed said: I dualbox a mithra and cyber myself when I'm lonely. It's not masturbation because it's technically another character. It's like jerking off in front of a mirror. I think that counts as sex... right?
a/s/l!?!?!!?
Server: Sylph
Game: FFXI
Posts: 3663
By Sylph.Beelshamen 2010-01-15 17:48:25
Shiva.Darkmacabre said: Ya I got pix :P and I'm 18. xD
Post them here. Don't worry, we won't stalk them. We're not /b/.
Asura.Hit
Server: Asura
Game: FFXI
Posts: 765
By Asura.Hit 2010-01-15 17:52:07
Sylph.Beelshamen said: Shiva.Darkmacabre said: Ya I got pix :P and I'm 18. xD
Post them here. Don't worry, we won't stalk them. We're not /b/.
How about you don't.. and for a guy who is soul crushed and depressed you don't seem that depressed. Just an observation.
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Server: Shiva
Game: FFXI
Posts: 441
By Shiva.Darkmacabre 2010-01-15 17:52:52
Talking from experience eh? lol Apparently you never grew up because you still release that hatred on other posts which I find even more so childish. lol I released ***on my own post. Wanna talk about your problems? Post your own and see what others think, or....just stfu. ^^
Leviathan.Lennavan
Server: Leviathan
Game: FFXI
Posts: 2
By Leviathan.Lennavan 2010-01-15 17:54:18
Shiva.Darkmacabre said: lol I know all these things and I will admit I do need a life... I really do. Truth is I'm a bit insane after all the stuff I've been through and I lose touch with reality for some time. It doesn't matter what doctors tell me or what meds I'm given, the truth is I'm already screwed in the head. Even more so after this. And a deeper truth I hate to say is that I sort of expected this from the start...something in me always told me that something was wrong, but I felt that I should give that small chance of hope a chance. I mean if I lost I'd eventually recover...but if I won...I'd have a bomb-*** gf. Not much to lose there.
The problem is you have had a lifetime of being told you need meds and you're screwed in the head. What you need is a lifetime of being told to take personal responsibility for yourself.
If you won, you'd have a bomb-*** internet only gf who would go away as soon as SE shuts down the servers. Yay for teenager love.
Server: Shiva
Game: FFXI
Posts: 441
By Shiva.Darkmacabre 2010-01-15 17:54:38
Asura.Hit said: Sylph.Beelshamen said: Shiva.Darkmacabre said: Ya I got pix :P and I'm 18. xD
Post them here. Don't worry, we won't stalk them. We're not /b/.
How about you don't.. and for a guy who is soul crushed and depressed you don't seem that depressed. Just an observation.
I'm not so much at this very moment. It's still in that state of shock I suppose. I'm kinda shivering all crazy-like atm. But I guess I'll not sleep so well tonight.
It's funny really how it all turns out to be. Anyone remember that first feeling of playing FF for the first time? lol You run around with RSE gear killing lvl one mobs and loving it.. I'll never forget that feeling. Then you make friends and meet wonderful people who become closer than you'd ever imagine from a video game.
But after years of playthrough and broken memories I've come to realize FF is now nothing more than a place that people seem to forget about what matters in life.
Every single friend I met has forgotten me. I spent hours helping them get what they wanted just because I enjoyed it. In the end I'm tossed aside. It's as if I was just another NPC to them.
I met a beautiful girl on here once who became my best friend. We did everything together lol, farming, quests, duo, you name it. Eventually she became my girlfriend. It lasted for 6 months...six entire months before I found out she was married and only used me as a play thing for pleasure. You'd think it's nothing but when I really believed....when I really loved her...it honestly broke my heart.
Eventually while trying to love FF again I met another while trying to sell an Enhancing Sword. We ended up talking all day and night. lol It was...amazing. For some reason I came to really enjoy her presence. So I told her my life story...about my very first gf who died on her birthday, about my abusive parents, everything.... and about my ex-gf on FF who almost had me at suicide.
And so it went on....she comforted me and I fell for her. She promised to love me forever and be at my side. She promised to never hurt me and I did the same. Perhaps now it sounds so foolish but believe me at that moment of romance....reality changes.
Perhaps she loved me too, I'll never know. We were together a few months before she began to act strange...to have me question things. But whenever I asked she'd push away.. I began to fear that maybe it was happening all over again. But I also fought to hold the trust I had for her....I mean...she swore with all her heart that she loved me. And all I ever gave her was honesty and compassion.
....Today I found out she switched servers and tried to hide from me out of nowhere. Just like my ex... After swearing to never hurt me she did just the same as my ex-girlfriend did.
Laugh at me as you read this, while I cry as I write this. I'm merely a stupid kid who fell in love with the most beautiful girl he's ever met, but in the end she hurt me more than anyone will ever hurt me. I loved her...I still love her. But a few minutes ago I was forced to find where she fled and tell her that I loved her and if she truly never wanted to see me again I'd let her go...because I only wanted her to be happy...
I won't write any names because it's the manly thing to do. They know who they are...they may even be reading this at this very moment. The only thing I want to say is that even though this is merely a game...there are real people playing with real feelings and real lives. Is gil and gear really worth destroying someone's life? Whatever happened to playing for fun and personal enjoyment? I have no regrets for helping out the people I helped before...but for Christ's fucking sake stop fucking with my heart...
Call me emo. call me whatever the hell you want. But I'm just another regular player who loved playing this as much as anyone else. And I see what really happens in this game. I know how people truly are... In this game our true personalities come out and my god...lol...if this is how humans really are..then I sure hope that some fucking meteor shatters the planet. Because I'd rather be a worm than a human being.
If you took the time to read this then thank you... I have no one else to talk to so the FF community seemed just.
Someone please hack my account and delete all my shit because I don't have it in me to quit this prison of a game.
*EDIT* NEVER MIND ABOUT THIS LAST STATEMENT WTF???? EMO MOMENT MUCH?
sigh... edit#2 for those who misunderstood this statement: "But after years of playthrough and broken memories I've come to realize FF is nothing more than hell itself." People seemed to have taken it literally. I meant people in general. And all the bad shit that happens on it.
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