Hey Kids!
O.K. who wants to learn the super fast way to loose weight guarenteed!
Are you really going to take dieting advice from a guy with a sinister handlebar moustache?
The steps are simple!
O.K. but people die taking this advice, it's really unhealthy please stop clicking the spoilers.
YOU MUST STAY AWAY FROM PEOPLE DURING THIS DIET
Step One
I used to do this to get ready for fights I can't stress enough how unhealthy it is for your body Step One. We try to kill ourselves. Go three full days without eating to shrink your stomach only drinking water DO NOT TRY TO FILL UP ON WATER YOU WILL GET WATER INTOXIFICATION AND DIE walk around as much as you can without feeling sick do not do any heavy excersise I tried to warn you! If you live through step one you will wish you hadn't during step 2
IMPORTANT: Have something like a punching bag to take your frustrations out on
Step Two
We make a bomb and then we eat it. Boil one cup plain steel cut oats per package directions in water ADD NOTHING TO IT and eat it Do not use Tiger's bowl!!! wash it down with pure cranberry juice mixed with fiber (like metimucil, per package diretions) keep drinking water, repeat two more times on day four if you can hack it. Prepare yourself, you are going to ***things, like crayons, that you ate when you were a child
Step Three
Devolve even further Training diet -plain oatmeal for breakfast and a piece of fruit, plain raw vegetables for lunch, steamed single chicken breast and vegetable for dinner. It helps if you eat like an animal, stop shaving and scream alot. You are going to be so pissed off by the time you get into that ring you could stomp the balls off a rhinoceros. Lone Thought -Your opponent made you do all this to yourself.