I remember that episode... I try not to judge people too harshly when all the evidence isn't right out front.
IDK Failer and maybe savvykins went thermo nuclear on his *** and his indignation was righteous... /shrug
I don't have access to people's private messages.... yet.
<PARKER Edit: musical accompaniment>
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But I was backreading today and saw his quitting forever post and went to take a look at the offending thread... and it offended me. It offended my masculinity. It offended my maturity. It offended my humanity. I feel weaker just having read it and a little nauseous... Weak reeds were insulted. Toddlers all across the world were like
"really dude?"
/slaps the back of his hand into the palm of his other hand
Something had to be done.
We can't let him get away with it.... I want to chase him down the street, submerge him in a drum of warm tar and then cover him in chicken feathers and parade him through town until we get tired. Then I want to strap him to an old timey dunking chair and dunk him in ice cold spring fed pond over and over again until he stops crying. Which might take a while.
Part of me wanted to hold back. Because it's almost unfair to unload on someone tragically born without a spinal cord or testicles. Especially since he probably canceled his internet and can't defend himself.
But what kind of world do we live in where a grown man would act that way!? I know I say this a lot but
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU KIDS!!? Is this really what happens when you take away corporal punishment?
<several hours of blaming public schools later>
I picture his home, filled to the rafters with trophies they give out to the kids that lost the game and ribbons that say things like "You tried your best!" his parents beaming with pride over the most minuet of accomplishments.
We have to do something! We can't just stand here and let masculinity die! We've worked too hard. Our forefathers died of starvation and exposure and stupidity rather than quit like he did...
Now if you'll excuse me I have to go do something manly to get this coating of sappy baby slobber off me.