Last week: Jeans fit fine.
Yesterday: Craved everything! Had a hot pocket and a truckton of potato chips plus a soda for lunch, had two humongous pieces of pizza and a soda for dinner.
Today: Jeans are too loose and keep falling down.
So here I was, thinking that I was living the dream because eating junk food all day apparently makes me scrawnier. Woo! Bring on the onion rings and chocolate!
But then I also noticed that my glasses are now too big and keep sliding down my nose. No way that junk food makes my ears, nose, or face shrink! (Never you mind that they are two years old and all stretched out and need replacing anyways!)
So. There's only one conclusion. I've been abducted by aliens, who replaced me with a similarly-sized look-a-like implanted with all my memories, but they couldn't get an exact replica. Who's going to notice a millimeter missing here or there?