So... My best friend Jess comes over today and told me that we're going to the mall (she doesn't ask anymore, she just lets me know how my day is going to play out)
Well, we drive down to Columbia to the mall there, and we walk around a few times, and we know we're horrible people for it, but there were so many mentally challenged people.. and sketchy older men who walk just a bit too close, and people who looked like they threw their clothes collection into a tornado, and wore whatever the hell came at them first.
So we finally decide that we just can't handle this level of publicness anymore and we head for the parking garage...
And of course, out behind us comes this older man in shorty shorts and a fanny pack, and this rather feminine t-shirt on.
We exchange looks, and head for the elevator because the last thing we want to see is this poor man's buttcheeks as we slowly creep up the stairs.
Well, we walk into the elevator and she presses the button, hesitates and stares at me and says, "Kaitlyn... do you smell that? It smells like piss..." And I kinda look at her with the "What do you expect?" look and chuckle.
Unfortunately, as I chuckled, my eyes slowly descended, and I start to hyperventilate, and grab her arm, "Oh GOD... Oh no... OH NO. OH *** GOD NO...."
She panics and looks down and sees that we are both standing in this massive puddle of just RANK *** piss, and we bolt for the door just as it closes. So of course, we're both screaming/wailing and banging on the door and screaming "WHYYY?!" And the instant the door opens, we both burst out into the garage, her screaming and wiping her feet against the ground, and then there's me screaming "WHO THE HELL DOES THAT?!" while on the ground gagging violently.
And of course, there's two women and their children chillin in this car in front of us staring at us both like we're a pair of nutjobs.
/sigh
TL;DR: I will forever check elevator floors before entering ; ;