I always sign my name L Ron Hubbard.
I always sign my name "
***"
It all started eighteen years ago when we bought our first house and this guy from the bank came to my office to have me sign some paperwork.
SO I sign it and he compares it to my drivers licence and a check and it all matches up... and he asks if I have any other signatures....
and I said no.... and he didn't believe me. YOU KNOW, LIKE FOR CREDIT CARD SLIPS. and I said no I just sign my full signature all the time.
and he is all NO NO NO NO NO NO YOU CAN'T DO THAT THEN SOMEONE WILL STEAL YOUR SIGNATURE...SIGN IT LIKE AN AUTOGRAPH LIKE FROM A FAMOUS PERSON OR SOMETHING...this guy was a loud talker and an ***
and so we argued for a while longer until I got fed up and scrawled "***" on the paper but it's in cursive with plenty of flourish on it.
and it takes one look at it and says TOUCHE....and sticks in in my folder and leaves
and so I have been signing everything
*** ever since....
and I forgot all about it until the other day I was signing a credit card slip for a pizza and I scratch
*** like always and the kid takes a long hard look at it and kinda makes a face and does a double take
but I kept a straight face so they stuck it in the register or whatever...
but then it dawned on me that for almost twenty years I have been writing
*** on every receipt I ever signed how many could it possibly be by now?