FFXIAH Linkshell Ni

me- "I'm interested in your listing"
realtor- [crickets chirping]
me- "no really I'm interested in your listing and I've already been approved for financing"
realtor-that property is no longer available but perhaps I can find something else?
me- "I doubt it my requirements are kind of strange"
realtor- "I got this we have auto search!!!"
me- "I don't know if auto search would work for us. We're looking for a piece of land to build on right on the edge of civilization so to speak.
Close enough to get high speed internet, natural gas, water and sewer. But far enough out to get a break on property taxes.

We want to escape the HOA....raise chickens if we want, have a compost mixer and a shed. Is technobillies a word yet?
I don't want to go all the way out into the "deliverance zone" with the propane tanks, meth zombies and moonshine stills but you've probably seen what's happened to {THE PLACE WE LIVE NOW} in the twenty years since we moved here.

I think five acres at a minimum, probably twenty five max. If it had a small house on it like YOUR LISTING it would be ideal.

I don't want to live in someone else's dream home, if that makes any sense. one example = EXAMPLE the seller is obviously very proud of their home, but it's not for me and I can't afford to pay 600k for a home I intend to knock down

I want to build my own home but it doesn't have to be a "lot" if it has an older home I could fix up and use as an office while we build that would be ok.

However, if look at ANOTHER EXAMPLE no bank is going to loan us 300k for that dump.

YOUR LISTING was kind of unique, it's worth about xxxk, big chunk of land, right on the edge of the country, house I would not feel sad about bulldozing.

If you see something that fits all my weird requirements I would be happy to take a look.

realtor- /sends four results of barren wasteland without gas, water, sewer, trees, or any of my other requirements

me /rageface

thirty some odd years ago in fact... I was young, dumb and full of combustible mixture of indiscretion and exuberance. it was the eighties.....



but then I met my wife of these past twenty seven years and something changed. I wanted to be a better person for her. at the time I was living with eleven other guys crammed into a two bedroom cape cod that we somehow managed to turn into seven bedrooms...but I digress...

I had no experience being a good man and quite frankly there weren't a hell of a lot of good examples nearby. So I had to learn almost everything the hard way. and one thing I learned is this.

to be a man a man of honor and integrity you must avoid even the appearance of impropriety, it's not enough to say... oh but clearly we have no interest in each other he is an old married *** and she is a young single woman half his age..... but that's not what everyone else sees and thinks and whispers about [imitates whispering] she's half his age I wonder how much he paid for her and all this sort of thing

I discovered this quite by accident. a friend of mine at the time, a woman, was a hugger... very clingy... she was much younger than me and I never considered her as a dating prospect. we were just friends. But not to everyone else. this all came to head when I was sitting next to my future wife at a party and this girl sat on my lap to hug me and then just stayed there..... for so long that even I got uncomfortable. maybe she was attracted to me and I was too dumb to notice or recognize the potential fallout.

well I heard he's already cheating on her did you her what happened at so and so's party the other night
...and that was the last time I saw or spoke to clingy mchugstoomuch. I don't need that ***.

I talk to other guys and at my age a lot of them *** up and wound up divorced... which interests me because I don't want to end up like them, living in some rat hole, dirty clothes, seeing the kids every other weekend, financially broke and morally bankrupt

and enough of their stories go something like....we got together, had a few drinks, one thing led to another and the next thing you know all of my clothes are on fire in front lawn

so here is a simple solution....all I have to do is never put myself in any sort of situation where I could possibly be compromised. I simply don't have lunch alone with any woman that isn't my wife. How easy was that? /air shrug it's been working great for thirty years. Do you know how many times I cheated on my wife? ZERO how many times did I get ***faced when my wife wasn't there? ZERO how much time have I ever spent alone with another woman that wasn't my wife? ZERO

I don't want to cheat on my wife and it turns out that it's really really easy thing to avoid you simply don't do idiotic things and you never have to pay the consequences.

And nobody has ever questioned my loyalty because no one has ever seen me anywhere with anyone else EVER.

a couple of gay girls invited me over to their house for a picnic at their home and I declined and explained that it would be inappropriate ....to which they replied... but we're gay
it doesn't matter. you don't have a sign on your house that says gay women only - no *** allowed anyone driving by sees an old *** and two young women and they come to their own conclusions and it might not make any sense to you but I don't what to create an appearance that can be misinterpreted. there is never any misunderstanding if there is never anything that can be misunderstood.

and it works both ways, your honor is also protected. nobody will ever wonder if I'm your sugar daddy and you are whoring for a meal if we are never seen together having one. it's brilliantly simple you take away any possibility of their being an inappropriate relationship and nobody can come to the conclusion that we have one.

it's not that you would or I would or that I think you would or that you think I would ever say or do anything inappropriate.

it's just impossible because it's not possible because it will never happen because I won't allow it to ever happen and we skip all the he said she said they all said we all say did you hear what they said nonsense.

excelsior