you tricked me with the secret double spoiler to nowhere.
I think PARKER went looking for more songs but he got overly melancholy...
/picks up chloroform bottle
and then got into the chloroform...
/nudges PARKER with his foot
they said all they wanted was one ice cube to save their dying planet.... but they made the classic mistake of trying to take it from ME by force. I had plans for that ice cube, even if they had asked nicely, you see, the whiskey in the medicine cabinet is kept at room temperature and...uh...well... come to think of it... I suppose I could have given that ice cube to them and just added the whiskey to my coffee...or had PARKER fetch some more ice from the ice maker /shrug
Anyhoo... I ordered PARKER to destroy them.
PARKER spent several hours trying to stomp them all to death. I was never worried PARKER might loose, even after they managed to pin him to the floor.. but eventually I got bored and blew some cigar smoke directly at the fire detection system which set off the carbon dioxide canisters. Because their lungs are so tiny, they died before PARKER even got light headed.
So the oxygen levels are still a little below normal and you may feel light headed...and you may also feel the floor give a little when you step on it. Just don't look at the bottom of your shoes. The iRobots should have them all swept up by noon...
now if you'll excuse me I have to consult the oracle as to whether or not my inability to enjoy my ice cube before it melted because I was using this rebreather is ironic.
and I need to find some method by which people just give me large amounts of their money on a regular basis without me having to do any actual work....such as... a new religion... or charity perhaps...
Idk something evil...I just want to be able to put my feet on the desk and smoke cigars and laugh maniacally.. then pull a handle attached to chain which opens a big mail chute and money falls out.
Nobody realizes or appreciates how much effort goes into holding the world for ransom... I went to all that trouble to create super storm sandy and the UN was all "pffffft...yeah, like anyone is going to miss New Jersey!!!..." and they totally stiffed me... sure we recuperated some of the investment with a blizzard of false insurance claims but where's the fun in that?
/slams fist on desk
there has to be some way...
NPR has this sustaining member program where you give them your credit card number and they just keep billing it forever unless you somehow remember to turn it off.
but how do I get people to do that without actually providing any service in return?....
and I need to find some method by which people just give me large amounts of their money on a regular basis without me having to do any actual work....such as... a new religion... or charity perhaps... Idk something evil...I just want to be able to put my feet on the desk and smoke cigars and laugh maniacally.. then pull a handle attached to chain which opens a big mail chute and money falls out. Nobody realizes or appreciates how much effort goes into holding the world for ransom... I went to all that trouble to create super storm sandy and the UN was all "pffffft...yeah, like anyone is going to miss New Jersey!!!..." and they totally stiffed me... sure we recuperated some of the investment with a blizzard of false insurance claims but where's the fun in that? /slams fist on desk there has to be some way... NPR has this sustaining member program where you give them your credit card number and they just keep billing it forever unless you somehow remember to turn it off. but how do I get people to do that without actually providing any service in return?.... PARKER!! quick, think of something!
Government job? then build your own feifdom by hiring only family and friends for jobs they don't know how to do and are horribly underqualified and overpaid for so they can become a drain on society without any hope of being fired... unless you pull your johnson out that is...
and I need to find some method by which people just give me large amounts of their money on a regular basis without me having to do any actual work....such as... a new religion... or charity perhaps... Idk something evil...I just want to be able to put my feet on the desk and smoke cigars and laugh maniacally.. then pull a handle attached to chain which opens a big mail chute and money falls out. Nobody realizes or appreciates how much effort goes into holding the world for ransom... I went to all that trouble to create super storm sandy and the UN was all "pffffft...yeah, like anyone is going to miss New Jersey!!!..." and they totally stiffed me... sure we recuperated some of the investment with a blizzard of false insurance claims but where's the fun in that? /slams fist on desk there has to be some way... NPR has this sustaining member program where you give them your credit card number and they just keep billing it forever unless you somehow remember to turn it off. but how do I get people to do that without actually providing any service in return?.... PARKER!! quick, think of something!
Government job? then build your own feifdom by hiring only family and friends for jobs they don't know how to do and are horribly underqualified and overpaid for so they can become a drain on society without any hope of being fired... unless you pull your johnson out that is...
and I need to find some method by which people just give me large amounts of their money on a regular basis without me having to do any actual work....such as... a new religion... or charity perhaps...
Idk something evil...I just want to be able to put my feet on the desk and smoke cigars and laugh maniacally.. then pull a handle attached to chain which opens a big mail chute and money falls out.
Nobody realizes or appreciates how much effort goes into holding the world for ransom... I went to all that trouble to create super storm sandy and the UN was all "pffffft...yeah, like anyone is going to miss New Jersey!!!..." and they totally stiffed me... sure we recuperated some of the investment with a blizzard of false insurance claims but where's the fun in that?
/slams fist on desk
there has to be some way...
NPR has this sustaining member program where you give them your credit card number and they just keep billing it forever unless you somehow remember to turn it off.
but how do I get people to do that without actually providing any service in return?....
PARKER!! quick, think of something!
we start a semi-imformative / quasi comedy podcast of you railing on about some story, then humbly ask your listeners to tell their friends, and give us a dollar a month, boom, we get 1 million listeners, & if half of them give us a buck, 500k a month.
*** to the yeah.
I'll set em' up, you knock em' down.
sup all. I hope ze vacations went well all around.
"Someone I know" does that. I thought about working there with him but I would have to move and his internet is monitored and restricted so we could't play ffxi all day or something... (I quite frankly would have jumped at the chance if we had un-monitored internet access)
(he complained to me one time about being bored with chess and monopoly and I suggested the board game Axis and Allies which his group has taken quite a shine too. Morale has since skyrocketed...)
and they attend a lot of meetings.
I asked him one time what they were supposed to be doing and he appeared to be thinking about it for a long time and then said "honesty, I don't remember..." and he has been there over twenty five years.
I have met some of the other guys in his group (they took me to lunch one day "on business") all of them were only sure of three things in this world... 1.) the exact number of days remaining until retirement, 2.) the number of personal days, holidays, sick days and vacation days they have remaining at any given moment and 3.) that they will never ever be caught "goofing off". If anyone asks what they are doing they say they are "relationship building" or "team building"
The third one intrigued me the most... I wondered why they have no fear of being caught and asked them "because" they said "the only people that could possibly catch us.... also work for the government"...
right, well sure, I nodded knowingly, and they are all also presumably playing board games all day long.... all 22 million of them...
Well, not ALL... There are an unlucky few who HAVE to interact with the public...like department of motor vehicle clerks, cops, judges, etc. but most of them hide in quite anonymity. The actual work is subcontracted out to someone else and they report these findings at meetings and then go back to their offices.
"You can't sleep", his boss told me, "and a few other things like get noticeably drunk or high.... if you get caught you will get sent to rehab" What's the down side? I queried...
"You won't ever matter" "that's the hardest part for me" he said "you can work really hard or not at all, it doesn't matter...you can't be fired but you can't really be promoted, like me, I'm the director of this department, but nobody actually has to do anything I tell them, I can't fire them or be fired myself, my pay is only slightly better than the handful of people that started after I did anyways..."
Like the officer of graffiti I had the run in with, behind him he has a director of graffiti and a fax coordinator and god only knows how many others, secretaries of the secretaries all locked away in a secure location quietly going insane.... waiting for the next cool board game to be released....
a few of them "crack up" and "go postal" occasionally shooting up the office. which seems to be the only real concern they have... that one of them is going to "pop" and kill the others. They all eye each other darkly as the subject came up.
but on days like this I think about it heavily, sever my contact with the ffxiah world and go deep into the secret world of government "work".... no naps though...hmmmm
and I need to find some method by which people just give me large amounts of their money on a regular basis without me having to do any actual work....such as... a new religion... or charity perhaps...
Idk something evil...I just want to be able to put my feet on the desk and smoke cigars and laugh maniacally.. then pull a handle attached to chain which opens a big mail chute and money falls out.
Nobody realizes or appreciates how much effort goes into holding the world for ransom... I went to all that trouble to create super storm sandy and the UN was all "pffffft...yeah, like anyone is going to miss New Jersey!!!..." and they totally stiffed me... sure we recuperated some of the investment with a blizzard of false insurance claims but where's the fun in that?
/slams fist on desk
there has to be some way...
NPR has this sustaining member program where you give them your credit card number and they just keep billing it forever unless you somehow remember to turn it off.
but how do I get people to do that without actually providing any service in return?....
PARKER!! quick, think of something!
we start a semi-imformative / quasi comedy podcast of you railing on about some story, then humbly ask your listeners to tell their friends, and give us a dollar a month, boom, we get 1 million listeners, & if half of them give us a buck, 500k a month.
*** to the yeah.
I'll set em' up, you knock em' down.
sup all. I hope ze vacations went well all around.
unfortunately, like all diabolically evil people, my voice is annoying as hell...
and I need to find some method by which people just give me large amounts of their money on a regular basis without me having to do any actual work....such as... a new religion... or charity perhaps...
Idk something evil...I just want to be able to put my feet on the desk and smoke cigars and laugh maniacally.. then pull a handle attached to chain which opens a big mail chute and money falls out.
Nobody realizes or appreciates how much effort goes into holding the world for ransom... I went to all that trouble to create super storm sandy and the UN was all "pffffft...yeah, like anyone is going to miss New Jersey!!!..." and they totally stiffed me... sure we recuperated some of the investment with a blizzard of false insurance claims but where's the fun in that?
/slams fist on desk
there has to be some way...
NPR has this sustaining member program where you give them your credit card number and they just keep billing it forever unless you somehow remember to turn it off.
but how do I get people to do that without actually providing any service in return?....
PARKER!! quick, think of something!
we start a semi-imformative / quasi comedy podcast of you railing on about some story, then humbly ask your listeners to tell their friends, and give us a dollar a month, boom, we get 1 million listeners, & if half of them give us a buck, 500k a month.
*** to the yeah.
I'll set em' up, you knock em' down.
sup all. I hope ze vacations went well all around.
unfortunately, like all diabolically evil people, my voice is annoying as hell...
balls.
maybe we could do a proxy thing were you would just whisper all your evil into a secret earbud like the secret service guys have.
Edit: As of 2010-10-05 14:48:06 CST, Ni reached 10,000 pages.
Since we all can't be on the same linkshell in game, this can be our cross server linkshell thread.
Like most linkshells, it can be pretty dead at times. Other times it's full of intense conversations about either rl, gear, goals, pokemon or anything else you want to contribute.
We can cover any sort of topic at all, within reason of the forum rules. No real main topic, just a bunch of FFXIAH friends/people coming on and discussing random things.
Yeah Chuu. Bringing you up to speed, Ludoggy is the LS pedophile. I'm the fountain of random and useless knowledge that makes you go "Hrm" with the occasional side of "holy shit he said what?"
Kungfu is the LS nutjob, spouting super random things that are usually sexist, until Savvy or Alyria comes into the room. Then he's a classic case of sexual harrassment. Rumaha is also true to the second part; we're wondering about his sexuality though.
Daj is Ludoggy's gay lover. Not much else is known about this Asuran. Tairo is kinda new, but since is a female and Alyria's lesbian lover, she fit right in real quick.
Celene(F) and Rowland(M) are more of the shyer members, but often say things that are witty, have a good pun and sometimes cause three page discussions. Celene hates when people hit on her. It doesn't stop them from trying.
Krizz is just social and likes to kill time here during work Tbest is about the same, except tends to be a douche to guys and affectionate toward girls.
Alyria is the most social female, gets groped a lot without provoking it by others, and Tairo ends up stabbing people for it. Cai is just a barrel of lols, I might be gay for him. If I wasn't straight.
Not sure about Citag, s/he's new. Kiriyu is just an in-out kinda person. Says one thing every three days that every guy makes a big fuss over. Ludoggy gets really defensive since she's asian and underage (might be 18 now).
Artem is the wayward soul that makes you ponder the meaning of life by constantly reminding us life can suck. But he deals, and so do we. About the same for Savannah, except people are more "AWH!" to her because of a vagina involved.
Dasva is the ex military man (as is Krizz but this doesn't apply to him) who hates the world and plots a way to destroy most of it.
Number2 is kinda like a mix between Cai and I; never bashes, likes to laugh and has odd avatars. His current suits a lot of the convos this LS gets into. Barti is most well known for his moustache. He gives mousatche rides for a fee. I'm missing a few people but whatever. CARRY ON!
Luelle Smells.
Roster of FFXIAH Ni (as of April 1st, 2010 Pocoyo avatar craze)
Happy b-day ls.
Heres my lame gift to AHLS, since Row is lame and took away the OP, I made my own!
Haseyo/Bignose: He's got a bigass nose, Leader of the RL avi revloution or some junk no one gives a crap about...crazy about his asian pop/rock bands and is a closet pedo. AKA LAME
Dameshi: wont level his sam sub and is a lolblu, LAME
Citag: Doesnt put out, Really lame
Dasva: Uses Chu as a cover up for his desire for me greased up and naked on his bed, Lame.
Rydiya/Bra+Panties: Secret lesbien, doesnt wear bra+panties, like to knit and other old people stuff (bingo)
Pikachu/Chu: Hi Chu, I love chu
Kryee/Socks: Noms on socks, wears the sam red pair everyday and frequently sniffs her arm pits.
Cheyne: Domo origoto, Mr Roboto...I think he's gay.
Urial: SOCCER IS LAME AND YOU'RE LAME.
Thundars: LOLCANADIAN
Spence: LOLFRENCHCANADIAN
Enterius/ghost: He's a ghost...he'll say something witty to me later.
Ixe: Ducky face and cant seem to get a straw in her mouth (can get other things in there though)
Mairah: She cool...lame
Bart: Full times OPO-OPO, free mustache rides otherwise LAME
Sav/Mango: Field trips, yay!
Aly/thatgreenmodthatwillbanmeifIsayanythingbad: *tapes*
Woody: You're not Italian...no tea for you.
Sectum: My apprentice...loves asian girls, loves to cook...he's awesome. put me in a story where I wasnt a pedo and that'd cool
Rum:STOP RAIDING MY BASEMENT AND TAKING AWAY MY GIRLS GAWD. Long Islander...lame
Valencea:Wont tell me the color of her undies, you lost the bet...no we cant get married...NO MEANS NO
Kojo:Open pedo...he likes scat, ewww
Tohsou: I think he's a pedo with a girlfriend as cover up, lame.
Kiriyu/strawberry: Lurk Less post moar! I see you what you are doing!
Krizz: Mohawk guy #1
Triet: Mohawk guy #1...wait
Bloodbathboy: The Hulk
Kungfuhustle: AH%DUE%$JNSRGHSRHHEYHEHSA Y%HEDHGSR EAT AHUYY DONKEY NUTS
Celene: Quit...Canadian...who the hell quits?
Tbest: MIA
Eternaltriumph: Where the hell has he been? Is he gone cause he got pussywhipped or something? Whatever...
#2: GOD...I miss him /cry
Luelle/otherlu: The Other Lu.
Zekky: Quit, kicking ass, raped me :\
Krystale/Girlwithpiercing: Magnets stick to her, Toke Canadian, hawt...she's 15 right?
Marzbarz: NINJA
Rowland: All your Pocoyo are belong to...him
Weewoo/Tool: He liked Asura and wont admit it.
Miemo: Has a mithra avi c.c
Kalyna: is a girl right? right? oh...lame
Gimmeurselables: TOO MUCH BOUNCE...TOO BIG, EWWWW
Sagittario: Lame elf whu runs around in a diaper subligar
Ludoggy: Faggot
Edit: The Family Ni Tree
Luelle's (And Citag's too!) birthday present
[h1]H1[/h1]
[h2]H2[/h2]
[h3]H3[/h3]
[figlet]Figlet[/figlet]
[spoiler="Custom spoiler!"][h1]Yay[/h1][/spoiler]
[soundcloud]http://soundcloud.com/matas/hobnotropic[/soundcloud]
Will try to get to more stuff when I can.
Disclaimer: Your Feelings May Get Hurt In Your Stay Here.
