Is there a resource anywhere that has recommended wait timers for various things if you are using in game macros? I notice when those are off you might as well not swap, but using timers that are too long is not great either in case you need something to DO IT NOW.
All /equipset commands require
at least a "/wait 1" between each set, which is generally fine for most abilities, since you rarely need to swap anything specific after an ability is activated. For your Waltz example, you can do:
/equipset [Waltz potency]
/ja "Waltz" <me> <wait 1>
/equipset [TP gear]
The potency transfers upon activation, so you get the full benefits of your potency set even though you're in TP gear before the animation ends/it shows up in the log. You almost always wanna put the <wait 1> on the same macro line as the ability itself, because activating an ability has a global cooldown of one second(ish) where you wouldn't be able to do any other action anyway. Practically all abilities and WS work in this fashion, meaning you're not missing much from using in-game macros.
The only time you have to work with a variable amount of /wait time is with spells, which is where things get tricky and gearswap becomes more appreciated. This might be important to you since BST/WHM is also a viable job combination. The biggest issue is you wanna precast everything in Fast Cast gear, so almost every magic macro opens with a FC set. Such as:
/equipset [Fast Cast]
/ma "Cure" <stpc>
Simple enough, but now you need to work a midcast set in for Potency, since spell potency is factored when the spell cast finishes, not when it starts like abilities do. First thought would be to put a <wait 1> on the /ma line and then an /equipset [cure potency] on the next line, but that doesn't work in this circumstance. With enough Fast Cast, the spell Cure I will go off before 1 second, meaning you won't even get to change to your potency set until that spell has already finished. That's a severe issue, but there is a slight, albeit also limited, workaround. The trick is that the old /equip [slot] "Item name" macros lines effectively stack with the new /equipsets with no need for wait macros. So, you could test it with something like this:
/equipset [PDT gear]
/equip head "Brass Cap"
Upon using that macro, you'll find that you're wearing full PDT gear, but with a Brass Cap in your head slot, without a single /wait 1 command. Back to that our spell issue, it means we can do something like:
/equipset [Fast Cast]
/ma "Cure" <stpc>
/equip neck "Phalaina Locket"
/equip ring1 "Lebeche ring"
/equip back "Solemnity Cape" <wait> 1
/equipset [Pet Idle]
But now we immediately notice the limitation; we're at the maximum number of lines per macro, but we still don't have max Cure Potency. That's unfortunately the best we can do in this current situation, without resorting to a <wait 1> on the FC gear line, or being forced to hybrid Cure Pot. into our FC equipset. The latter of which is not always viable, since not every job is on something like Heka's Kalasiris or Vrikodara Jupon.
On the plus side, if you're casting a spell that takes longer than 1 second to cast, you CAN use a <wait 1> on the /ma line and safely switch to a midcast /equipset set on the next line. Although, when people talk about midcast, they also mean Spell Interruption Rate-, which is kinda pointless to switch to if you gotta wait a whole second to get to it. Mages can bypass the <wait 1> issue by having every single one of their macros end in a "wrap around" /equipset [FC gear] command, so that they're already in FC gear when they click their next macro, allowing them to instantly switch to a midcast set after the spell starts casting. However, as a BST player, this isn't gonna be useful to you, since you wanna idle in pet gear, not FC/Refresh/whatever, so all your macro will likely end with /equipset that benefits your pet.
That's about the best advice I can give on the matter. As someone who has played pure Vanilla for 13 years, I can only tell you that the current macro system functions fine for most ability-based jobs, but has steep issues with casting. I particularity steer very clear of playing jobs, like SCH or BLU, that need sets based around incredibly quick swaps for this very reason. Keep this in mind when prepping your BST, as it may require less investment to just use gearswap if you plan on utilizing magic in the future.
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Also for something like Ready, would I need to keep the "ready" gearset on until the damage is on the screen or just once I use it... or once the pet readies it?
Take this with a grain of salt, since I'm not an actual BST player, but I can give you a couple tips to test out what might end up working for you. From what I can tell, you only need Tassets and Merlin on BEFORE you activate Ready to get the -Delay. More importantly, if BST pets work like Automaton, you need to be wearing pet acc/atk/TP bonus gear while the pet is actually preparing the skill, which is obviously more controllable for BST than it is for PUP. Try something that's easy to observe like Patrick's Fireball.
/equip sub "Charmer's Merlin"
/equip legs "Desultor Tassets"
/pet "Fireball" <me>
/equipset [Pet MAB] <Wait 3>
/equipset [Pet Idle]
Notice the damage, and then change the <wait 3> to a <wait 2>. Keep doing this until you find the lowest /wait command possible, to the point where there's no damage falloff from the MAB gear not being registered.