I hear ya, I generally toss out pearls to anyone who's just looking for nice people who aren't obsessed with items and stuff (especially returning players). My friend pointed out that the LS chat is like traveling back to 2005 sometimes.
I'm totally obsessed with gear (because I lot so low I never get any). Can I join? XD
All this said, I can sympathize with not wanting to go do things with random people. Even putting game issues such as skill, lot wars, and asshattery aside, you still have personal issues where it can be hard to interact with a total stranger.
I understand that because I am that way in real life, and sometimes still have a hard time asking to go do things with people I don't know well, because I think they will think I suck. Self-confidencee issues ahoy!
Now, I'm not saying that's your issue at all.
On topic, I know for a fact that NIN can do amazingly well as a solo job. You may want to reconsider the 100 JP needed for San, as annoying and shitty and grindy as it is. It really does help you do content that would be harder without it. Gearwise, reforged stuff will work if you can manage it. The random augments game is something I personally refuse to do, but if you have spare gil and some Taeon you can use that. Or be like me, take the first decent aug you get off farmed rocks, and call it a day.
It's theoretically possible to solo Yorcia skirmy v2, if you're willing to spend obsidian and can run fast enough. Malevolent aggro trust, though, so if you have them out you'll need to resummon when they get annihilated.
Good luck. :)