Reminds me of a story a friend of mine told me. He had a friend come over for a couple nights, and with him came his girlfriend at the time, as well as her two very young children.
I don't remember the specifics, but he told me that one of the kids needed to sleep in his room because he had a tv, and apparently that kid couldn't sleep without having a tv on. So anyway, at one point in the night, it looked like the kid was going to fall asleep, so my friend turned the tv off. The moment he did, the kid's eyes popped open like in some sort of freaky horror film and snarled, "I was watching that!!"
My friend freaked out and quickly turned the tv back on. So he decided to go sleep on his couch instead. He left his room and as he went to the living room, he passed by the bathroom where the light was on. He glanced for a second, and in there another kid was finished with his "business." At that point, he bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled at my friend, "CAN YOU WIPE ME?!?!"
That poor, poor ***.