A long time ago, in a university far away...
I didn't want to go to school. I didn't know what I wanted to do with myself. But it would be good for me! I thought. But I wouldn't be able to get a job without a degree! I thought.
So I picked up a catalog of all the degrees I could get at the university where my husband had been accepted. I looked at each and every degree. I thought French looked fun. I could talk to myself in the language of flowery goopy love! I thought. Yeah, except what was I going to do with a French degree? And three semesters of high school Spanish, and all I knew was how to say "cheese." That might have been because the teacher made us watch Channel One news with the pretty Asian lady for most of every class period, but still.
Discarding French, I instead became a dance major. I changed to Sports Science after two semesters. I changed to Nutrition after one semester. I changed to Interior Decorating after one more semester, but by that time I had stopped bothering to officially change my statement and was just taking classes for things at random. I finally settled on English. I supposed I could be a librarian. Nothing else looked spectacular, after all, and I did love books.
I completed my English degree, not because I liked it but because I refused to change my mind again. I walked with my class for graduation because my husband made me because his mother had made him walk when he graduated. Vengeful towards the wrong person! >.>
And since then I've stood around awkwardly going
and applying to be everything that has nothing to do with English and driving my husband crazy in general.
But then! Oh snap! I saw a commercial on TV about a community college that offered a veterinary technician degree! Well of course! I love animals! Well, I love dogs, anyways. I bawl every time those awful dog neglect/abuse commercials come on, I have four humane societies friended on Facebook and like to annoy my friends with it. "Oh HEY, did you know that the humane society in your town has this-and-that dog in as of two hours ago and he needs a forever home? You don't have a dog. Well shoo! Go get him! Never mind why I have a humane society ten hours away from myself friended!"
So I looked up how to become a veterinarian in my own town. And... I can only do pre-veterinary medicine here, and then I'd have to move away to a different college town to get the vet degree. The town I'd have to move to? ... it's a 15-minute drive from the town I just moved away from. Well why didn't I get it while I was there? You ask. Because I looked at the wrong University catalog-- two Unis, fifteen minutes away from each other, one offers vet and the other doesn't. And which one do I look at? FFFUUU
*sob* I finally figure out what I want to do with myself and I'd have to live away from my husband for at least four years to do it. By the time I finally got that degree we'd want a baby, and we both want me to stay home with the baby, so I'd go get a quadrillion dollar degree while maintaining a long-distance relationship with my man only to come home, get pregnant, and stay home with the kid for the next 6 years and after that no one would hire me because who wants a vet who has done nothing vet-ish for 6 years?
/headdesk
/headdesk
/headdesk