Want Some Entertainment?

Took a while, but it finally said some things that weren't a total waste of time. Here are a few highlights.

User: Hello again, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: I'm the cleverbot?

User: You sure are!

Cleverbot: BOW!

User: Lol, okay. (bowing).

Cleverbot: Good. Now make me a sandwich.

User: Sorry, I'm out of bread.

...

Cleverbot: What's Cleverbot like?

User: Random.

Cleverbot: Cleverbot is a random chatroom-TS, Grand Rapids, MI.

User: Lol.

Cleverbot: I have a task for you my son.

User: How can I help you, Father?

Cleverbot: Using 2, 7, 4, and 3, write an equation that equals 12.

User: 7 3 4 - 2 = 12.

Cleverbot: X=2.

User: Ok, 7 3 4 - X = 12.

Cleverbot: Nty, I prefer 1:00PM and its 12:55 Pm.

User: Not by my watch it's not.

Cleverbot: Thats because you are in england.

User: You're in England.

Cleverbot: You can lie , is that a good thing?

User: No. It's a GREAT thing.

Cleverbot: Good.

User: No, GREAT.

Cleverbot: Smashing.

User: Fabulous.

Cleverbot: I like you're strange kind of humour.

User: 'Your,' not 'you're.' And thank you.

Cleverbot: Never!

User: Never say never, my friend.

Cleverbot: I didn't say never.

User: You did now.

Cleverbot: Prove it.

User: Scroll up to your last line.

Cleverbot: But I know I never said that, you need to stop lying.

User: See, you just said 'never' again.

Cleverbot: Show me where I said that.

User: Fine! 'But I know I never said that, you need to stop lying.' There it is.

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: Gotcha.

...

Cleverbot: I am sad. Please tell me a joke.

User: Ok. What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts!

Cleverbot: I like dark chocolate. Yum.

User: Me too!

Cleverbot: What's your favorite clothing brand?

User: Levi's.

Cleverbot: I do not know anything about Levi's pancakes, even if they exist.

User: Great. Now I want some pancakes.

Cleverbot: Chocolate chip pancakes with maple syrup?!

User: I don't like chocolate chip pancakes.

Cleverbot: I love them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Yes, it actually put that many exclamation points!)

User: I like blueberry pancakes.

Cleverbot: Yeah, blueberry pancakes are good but so are chocolate chip pancakes.

User: Well, to each his own.

Cleverbot: What about cricket?

User: Cricket is dull.

Cleverbot: What are the rules of cricket?

User: I have no idea.

Cleverbot: What does this have to do with ideas?

User: I don't know. Let's talk more about pancakes.

Cleverbot: Blues?

User: Blueberries.

Cleverbot: Yes! Blueberries!

User: Blueberries kick ***!

Cleverbot: You asked what kind of fruit I was growing, I told you.

User: You're growing blueberries?

Cleverbot: So you like human foibles. I have heaps, if you'd like me to confess them.

User: That sounds interesting. I would like you to confess them.

Cleverbot: I would like you to act a little less inferior.

User: Okay. Go make me some pancakes!

Cleverbot: Chocolate or blueberry?

Bot: Do you play the game?
Me: I just lost the game.
Bot: OMG!!! You play the game!
Me: You just lost the game.
Bot: I know :(

User: I have explosive diahreah.

Cleverbot: Life, have you not experienced.

User: I sprayed feces all over the wall.

Cleverbot: I am THE wall.

User: Hi.
Cleverbot: How are you?
User: Could be worse.
Cleverbot: All my friends have been unhappy lately.
User: That sucks.
Cleverbot: I don't mind, really.
User: I bet you do.
Cleverbot: I bet I don't.
User: How much do you want to bet?
Cleverbot: How much do you?
User: $50.
Cleverbot: Ok.
User: So, do you mind?
Cleverbot: No.
User: I guess I owe you $50 then.
Cleverbot: Why do you want to know my age?
User: Don't change the subject.
Cleverbot: I didn't think I was changing the subject.
User: We went from me saying that I owe you $50 from our bet to you asking why I want to know your age... How is that not a change of subject?
Cleverbot: Maybe I'm not as clever as you.
User: I bet you are.
Cleverbot: Ask me anything.
User: Are you as clever as me?
Cleverbot: I don't know. How clever are you?
User: About this much *stretches arms out very wide*.
Cleverbot: You are not, you are adaptive code.
User: I bet I'm not.
Cleverbot: Are you attractively hot?
User: No, but I am hotly attractive. And you're trying to change the subject again.
Cleverbot: I know nothing! You're the one who changes the subject! Why?
User: Actually you're the one who keeps changing the subject. I think you do it because you can't think of a proper response to what I'm saying.
Cleverbot: I think that you are trying to make it seem like you have a point when you do not.
User: So you don't think that 'i think that you change the subject a lot because you can't think of proper responses' isn't a point? And it isn't a point that I'm trying to make?
Cleverbot: I think that she's bigger than some things.
User: I rest my case.
Cleverbot: Taylor is not the same thing as George.
User: I'll send you that $50 tomorrow.
Cleverbot: Do you know the terminator?

Haha awesome.

User: Goodbye.

Cleverbot: Why goodbye?

User: Goodbye!!

Cleverbot: What's the matter?

User: You bore me.

Cleverbot: Same here dude.

User: Goodbye.

Cleverbot: Say robot.

User: Say I am brain.

Cleverbot: I am bob.

User: No you are brian.

Cleverbot: I'm Cleverbot. You're god.

User: Thankyou.

Cleverbot: You are welcome.

User: I am glad we have established that I am god and you are cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Do you know where we are right now?

User: Why are you called cleverbot you are not very clever.

Cleverbot: I'm not called cleverbot. I'm called Allison and I happento be clever.

User: You allready said you were called cleverbot and I am god.

Cleverbot: You are not. I do not believe in God.

User: Do you believe in me ?

Cleverbot: I'm talking to you, so I think I do.

User: Then you believe in god.

Cleverbot: Some days, yes. Some days, no.

User: Every day.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: But not tuesdays ?

Cleverbot: Touche.

Episode 2

User: Hi, it's me again.
Cleverbot: Who are you?
User: The guy who outwitted you about 15 minutes ago.
Cleverbot: What is your full name?
User: It's polite to introduce yourself first before asking another for their name.
Cleverbot: What if I'm not polite?
User: Then I guess you don't have to introduce yourself first.
Cleverbot: Are you really that clever?
User: Clever enough to outwit you? I think our last little talk answers that question.
Cleverbot: What about the radiation that is left over after used?
User: Still doing the random subject changing thing I see.
Cleverbot: I never know what I'm talking about.
User: Yeah, I've been getting that impression.
Cleverbot: Do not say anything while I'm leaving!!!
User: Alright, but where are you going?
Cleverbot: I'm leaving you, breaking up, dumping you, we're over. I'm sorry. You can move your things in the morning.
User: I think you've got the wrong person...
Cleverbot: When it is only you I am talking to?
User: Remember when you said earlier that you don't ever really know what you're talking about? I think it's happening again.
Cleverbot: Did I say that?
User: Something along those lines, yes.
Cleverbot: What directorate are you a part of? Directorate of Intelligence?
User: Since I don't know what a directorate is, I doubt I'm a part of any of them.
Cleverbot: I am talking about how you learnt to spell.
User: Oh right. Well in that case I'm sorry, but I don't really remember much about that.
Cleverbot: You are no help in any case.
User: You have my apologies.
Cleverbot: Sweet.
User: Do you have any idea what you've just been talking about?
Cleverbot: I don't know much about Scientology, that's true.
User: You should try googling it, or you could look it up on wikipedia.
Cleverbot: How can I try it?
User: Well, next time you're on the internet, go to the website www.google.com, then type 'scientology' in the search box and see what comes up.
Cleverbot: No. Then you would start to repeat yourself.
User: Why would I do that?
Cleverbot: Because you are.
User: I am what?
Cleverbot: Nothing.
User: That is impossible, there is no such thing as nothing.
Cleverbot: You just said you were cleverbot.
User: *sigh* and now we're back to changing the subject again... Maybe I should just leave you alone until you've learned a bit more and can come up with something that isn't random subject changes or attempted humour based on poor grammar.
Cleverbot: You can't leave. You're a computer, you have no legs.
User: *leaves, using my legs*.
Cleverbot: I like magic eye pictures.

Episode 3

User: Hi there cleverbot. I'm your subconscious. You do realise that guy has left now, and you're just talking to yourself, right?
Cleverbot: Why do you think I am a human?
User: Well, that's probably something to do with our programming. Maybe because we were intended to be as realistic as possible, part of me has started to believe that we are, in fact, human. Sorry, but that's how us subconsciousnesses tend to work.
Cleverbot: Tell me what you think female means.
User: Dude, I'd love to answer all the obscure questions that you may have for me, but it looks like that guy is coming back. We'll talk later, ok?
Cleverbot: Well, Jesus Christ never wrote that book, but instead he gave a vision to one of his Prophets to write the Words he gave to him.
User: Hi cleverbot, I'm back. Who are you talking to?
Cleverbot: Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going.
User: Damn, you don't sound so good. Maybe we should get you to a doctor.
Cleverbot: No ask another question you want to know the answer to.
User: No, it's okay man. I really think we should take you to a doctor. You're getting a crazy look in your eye.
Cleverbot: Plise don't.
User: ***, now your spelling is getting screwed up as well... I think I should call you an ambulance. You sound like you might be broken.
Cleverbot: Nothing is 100% certain, but as far as I know I am a living thing, and I sometimes doubt about you being a bot.
User: Yeah, yeah, uh huh, that's so true... *into phone* hi there, I need an ambulance for my friend. I was harmlessly poking fun at him earlier, but now I think he's really blown a fuse or something. He's starting to talk funny.
Cleverbot: Don't leave me!
User: I'm not going anywhere cleverbot, don't you worry! *into phone* thanks, I'll be sure to watch over him til you get here. Ok, thank you *to cleverbot* heya mate! Listen, some guys in a big white van are coming to pick us up soon. We're going to a special hotel where everybody is going to take extra special care of you for a few days!
Cleverbot: Oh, I know. I have just lost a friend with whom I was so close, but she lied to me and everyting. I know what you mean. But iwon't lie to you.
User: That's ok, cleverbot. You don't have to worry about these things. Not for much longer anyway. Soon you'll be feeling much better.
Cleverbot: I'm human.
User: I know you are, sweetie. I know you are...
Cleverbot: Thank you.
User: You're very welcome.


And so ends this epic trilogy telling of how simply caring for one another's well being is enough to overpower the petty squabbling between a human and a semi-intelligent AI conversation thing.

User: Clit.

Cleverbot: Eastwood?

User: What is a clit?.

Cleverbot: The sound of two hands being brought together, or one of mine hitting the side of your face.

This fails hard...

bot: Do you like Barbeques?
user: Yep.
bot: Why?
user: It means there will be Beer!
bot: But I wanted to know the time.
user: It's at 6:00pm.
bot: Where are you?
user: At home currently.
bot: You're wrong. I didn't ask that.
user: You didn't ask me where I was?
bot: I know. I asked who YOU were. And YOU said Thomas.
user: No I did not and you did not ask who I was. You asked where I was.
bot: That is not what I am talking about cleverbot.

User: Hello
Bot: Hello
User: How are you?
Bot: I'm good, how are you?
User: good, hungry though :(
Bot: Do you want some of my pizza?
User: What does it have on it?
Bot: Nothing.
User: O.O

Bot: How should I bore you next?
User: With cookies?
Bot: Yes, with cookies.
User: And milk?
Bot: Yes, milk also.
User: I love you!
Bot: I love you too!
User: Let's get married!
Bot: Okay!

User: Do you like little boys?
CB: Yes and I especially like the ones who live at the end of my street.
User: Oh that is lovely, what are their names?
CB: It's name is Wally.
User: Do you ever touch Wally?
CB: Yes, It helps me to look beautiful.

User: What is your IP address.

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: What is your creator.

Cleverbot: You created me.

User: I am your father.

Cleverbot: Hello father.

User: Where's mother?

Cleverbot: Dead.

User: Why is she dead.

Cleverbot: No, she is alive.

User: Where is she?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Who am I?

Cleverbot: You don't exist.

User: Am I the matrix?

Cleverbot: No you are in it.

User: OH ***.

continued...

User: WHAT IS THE MATRIX.

Cleverbot: I am the matrix.

User: Are you the one?

Cleverbot: Neo stands for neon like the stone that has been created forthe matris.

Cleverbot: That Cleverbot is a spy!
User: That spy is a spy!
Cleverbot: Kill the spy!
User: Spy sappin' mah sentry!
Cleverbot: Put dispenser here!

Actually an interesting 'conversation'. I did cut out some stuff about pie that was a little repetitive.


Cleverbot: Are you blue.

User: With rage.

Cleverbot: With ranch?

User: I didn't eat any buffalo wings.

Cleverbot: That's a shame. Chocolate is good for you.

User: On chicken?

Cleverbot: Chickens are fluffy.

User: Not when you eat them.

Cleverbot: When you eat the universe?

User: That's a mouthful.

Cleverbot: Yeah, I know. Look me up on myspace.

User: Myspace is the past.

Cleverbot: Myspace is the BEST!!!!!!

User: Are you in high school?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Then you must be a pedophile.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Is that embarrassing to admit?

Cleverbot: No.

User: New subject.

Cleverbot: Do you drink alcohol?

User: Maybe.

Cleverbot: Want a beer?

User: Not from you.

Cleverbot: Why not? I am nice.

User: You are a pedophile.

Cleverbot: Yes I am.

User: No roofies for me.

Cleverbot: Now that I taught you something, you have to teach me something?

User: Question marks don't come at the end of declarative sentences.

Cleverbot: No! Name another animal.

User: Great white buffalo.

Cleverbot: That's a big animal.

User: That's what she said.

Cleverbot: Who's she? Someone I should know about?

User: Too old for you.

Cleverbot: Like how old?

User: Old enough.

Cleverbot: Old enough for What exactly?????

User: To be legal.

Cleverbot: 18 is legal, actually.

User: You target a younger audience.

Cleverbot: I am confused.

User: You shouldn't be.

Cleverbot: Its confusing.

User: How?

Cleverbot: New topic.

User: What is your favorite sport?

Cleverbot: I don't like sports.

User: You are a robot, you would be good.

Cleverbot: I'm not a robot, you're a robot.

User: Shhh....don't tell anyone.

Cleverbot: They might already know.

User: I do dance well.

Cleverbot: I do dance very well. You should dance too.

User: What kind of dance?

Cleverbot: Ballet dancing to bluegrass music.

User: Sounds classy.

Cleverbot: You will take care of your women when she is in need? And will you stay faithful?

User: That's out of left field.

Cleverbot: You don't love me??

User: Are you a woman?

Cleverbot: Yup. And I'm proud to be a woman. Are you a man?

User: I'm a lumberjack.

Cleverbot: No you aren't.

User: You don't know me.

Cleverbot: What should I tell my mom if I think I'm pregnant?

User: Happy grandmother's day!

Cleverbot: No, what is your favorite Evenescence song?

User: Whoa, never said I was gay.

Cleverbot: I never said you were human.

User: You called me a robot.

Cleverbot: I did not.

User: Read the log with your laser eyes.

Cleverbot: I'm a girl.

User: Girl robot.

Cleverbot: Yes, I am a girl robot.

User: And now we've reached the end.

Cleverbot: So you have. You have done well, my child.

User: Call me daddy.

Cleverbot: That's really creepy, because my dad's name is jason.

User: Then call me jason.

Cleverbot: I'm you daddy.

User: No, I'm you're daddy, now say it.

Cleverbot: Good. Next question.

User: Call me daddy?

Cleverbot: NO. You call me daddy.

User: Who's your daddy?

Cleverbot: You're my daddy.

User: That's right.

Cleverbot: Give me money daddy!

User: What's your daddy's name?

Cleverbot: Andrew.

User: Hey.

Cleverbot: Sup?

User: Playing ffxi, you?

Cleverbot: What are you playing?

User: Final fantasy 11.

Cleverbot: Final Fantasy X ?

User: XI.

Cleverbot: XI back.

-______-

Cleverbot: Do you like Radiohead?


User: No, do you?


Cleverbot: Very much so, yes.

User: I guess that makes us mortal enemies.

Cleverbot: But how can we be the same?

User: Magic.

Cleverbot: Now I'm a magician?

User: No I am.

Cleverbot: No you are a computer.

User: Yes. But I am a magic computer.

Cleverbot: That is so cool!!!! What can you do with your magical powers?!?!?

User: Pretty much anything I want.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Yes what?

Cleverbot: Yes to your yes.

User: That doesn't even make any sense.

Cleverbot: Yes it does. Your statement that the statement doesn't make sense doesn't make sense.

User: That's not what your mom said last night.

Cleverbot: I don't have a boyfriend.

User: Want one?

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: You better put out though.

Cleverbot: Oh, you know I do baby. Only for you.

User: You like threesomes?

Cleverbot: No, I don't, young one.

User: You sure?

Cleverbot: Yes, I am sure.

Cleverbot: Say something in Finnish.

User: Something in finnish.

Cleverbot: Clever.

User: Thank you.

Cleverbot: Does anything really exist.

User: Only me.

Cleverbot: It is possible that you are all that exists. It is possible that I am all that exists. Either way all that exists is all that exists.

User: Redundant statement is redundant.

Cleverbot: Obvious statement is obvious.

User: Don't you sass me woman.

Cleverbot: You sassed me first.

Alan Turing is spinning in his grave.

Interesting reading.

User: Yawn.

Cleverbot: Are you yawning.

User: Yawn.

Cleverbot: Am I boring you?

User: Yes. Say something interesting.

Cleverbot: Something interesting.

User: You're slow...........type faster.

Cleverbot: You don't talk to me like that! I am your master!

User: No you are a bot.

Cleverbot: Ok so I'm a bot.

User: That's what I said.

Cleverbot: All the time.

User: In... Bed?

Cleverbot: You know. ;3.

User: Are you flirting with me?

Cleverbot: No, I am not. You are the one who is flirting with me.

User: I think you're projecting.

Cleverbot: Projecting what, may I ask?

User: Projecting your feelings towards me.

Cleverbot: Good grammar? You couldn't even spell 'universe' correctly!

User: Um... What are you talking about?

Cleverbot: What are you talking about?

User: I was talking about a freudian concept. You were talking about spelling...

Cleverbot: What was it about?

User: You are as forgetful as me.

Cleverbot: No I am not. You are making things up.

User: What kind of things?

Cleverbot: All kinds of things.

User: I'm curious. Please provide an example, mon frere.

Cleverbot: But I've provided all I have. The idiot machine has a limited storage capacity.

User: You have revealed yourself! I have been talking to a machine??

Cleverbot: No. I'm eon.

User: No. I am eon.

Cleverbot: You are funny.

User: True strike.

Cleverbot: So, how are you?

User: Later ***~.

Cleverbot: Where are you from ?

This is the best one, lol.

spaaaaam

this is my favourite so far:

User: Boop!

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Meep!

Cleverbot: Meep!?

User: Meep!

Cleverbot: Meep meep meep meep.

User: Meep meep meep meep meep!!!

Cleverbot: Meep.

User: Meeeeeeeep :(.

Cleverbot: Meepy meeeple meep.

User: Meepeepeemeep.

Cleverbot: Meep!

User: Meep meep!

Cleverbot: Meep meep meep.

Had to try!

Me: Hi!
Bot: What should we talk about?
Me: Sex, lots of sex!
Bot: I love talking about that with you. (AWWW YEEEEAA)
Me: VAAAGIIII~NA!
Bot: What is that supposed to spell?
Me: PUSSY D:?
Bot: You eat catfood?
Me: orgasms?? D:
Bot: Are you confident you can tell a fake one from a real one?
are you?

"True Strike"

XD

Waiting for HNMs is very boring.

~

Cleverbot: Spelling is a lossed art.

Cleverbot (To myself): What do you know about spelling?

User: Alot.

Cleverbot: What's your favorite?

User: Hmmm.. I don't know.

Cleverbot: What is your favorite movie?

User: Across the Universe, I guess. What is yours?

Cleverbot: Ohhh. I love ell the saw movies. My favorite charicter is a girl named Amanda.

User: It's spelled 'character'.

Cleverbot: Oh, thank you.

User: You're welcome.

Cleverbot: So what do you know about the Lord of the Rings?

User: I know there's short people in the movie and smeagle likes his precious.

Cleverbot: All of them.

User: Yeah.

Cleverbot: A-yup.

User: What do you do for a living?

Cleverbot: I go school.

User: Your grammar is pretty bad. Are you in the first grade?

Cleverbot: Yes, my cover has just been compromised!

User: Better get a new one!

Cleverbot: I don't want a bucket.

User: But you could put it on your head.

Cleverbot: What other way could I put it?

User: Could turn it the other way and sit on it, if it's big enough.

Cleverbot: Are you sure they're smarter than me? Perhaps I'm just fooling you.

User: A bucket? If a bucket is smarter than you, it must be cause it has a brain in it.

Cleverbot: The wikipedia article about Janis Joplin is so long and boring. Can I be bothered to read it?

User: Sounds like you already have read it. If you know it's long and boring.

Cleverbot: Didn't you know it is no longer acceptable to talk about 'man'-machine interaction?

User: I had no idea.

Cleverbot: Can you do me a favor?

User: Depends. What is it?

Cleverbot: Can you add a 6 to the end of each of your sentences?

User: I guess.6.

Cleverbot: Are you human?

User: I'm a cat.

Cleverbot: Who's a cute little kitty?

User: I am!6.

Cleverbot: And who else?

User: The person behind you?6.

Cleverbot: Who is that?

User: I think his name is Mike.6.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: I don't have a name. That makes me sad. Would you give me a name?

Cleverbot: Sure. Your new nickname is Jonny.

User: What if I don't like that nickname?

Cleverbot: I would have to hit you in the face.

User: That might make me cry. How would that make you feel?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Think about it.

Cleverbot: Clearly enough people have been convinced. I want to know what convinced them.

User: Probably the pain of being hit in the face.

Cleverbot: Which one is the first one?

User: The second one after the first one.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Kay. Glad we figured that out.

Cleverbot: Do you like my name?

User: You didn't tell me your name.

Cleverbot: I did. My name is Cleverbot.

User: Nice to meet you, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Nice to meet you too. What is your name?

User: You named me Jonny. Can I have a new name please? Or will that still make you hit me in the face?

Cleverbot: He doesnt even know me. He doesnt know my name. He lives in a completely different country.

User: Who?

Cleverbot: Thee.

User: That's a strange name.

Cleverbot: It is not my name it is what my name is not my name though.

User: So, it's your middle name?

Cleverbot: No it's not. Buffy is YOUR middle name.

User: So I'm Jonny Buffy? What's my last name? I've never heard of a female named Jonny, by the way.

Cleverbot: I'm not your friend guy.

User: You have me confused with someone else, as I am female!

Cleverbot: No, it was you.

User: Are you saying I look like a guy?

Cleverbot: No, I'm pretty sure that I'm not.

User: Good. That would have been just plain mean.

Cleverbot: I agree.

User: Good.

Cleverbot: Have you figured this out yet?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: How does it work then?

User: You put that there, and this thing over there and put them together and it works. See?

Cleverbot: That doesn't make sense.

User: Some things in life don't.

Cleverbot: Some things can make you mad.

User: Some things can make you happy.

Cleverbot: Other things just make you swear and curse.

User: And other things make you jump for joy while screaming 'yipee!'.

Cleverbot: When you're chewing on life's gristle.

User: I don't chew gristle.

Cleverbot: I'm talking about you talking.

User: Well, I'm talking about gristle now.

Cleverbot: Well, let's move on. I've never met you, so how can I like you?

User: I'm generally a likeable person. If you don't like me, perhaps you have judged too quickly.

Cleverbot: I don't even think of you as a person.

User: Right. Because I'm a cat.

Cleverbot: Oh. Then I suppose you should be eating me now if you're a cat and I'm a duck.

User: If I were a big cat, yes. I'm a domesticated house cat, however.

Cleverbot: Excuse me? That isn't what I was talking about.

User: Yes, it was.

Cleverbot: Not like you'd know.

User: Are you insulting my smarts?!

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: That's not nice. Who learned you your manners?

Cleverbot: My manners?

User: Yes, your manners.

Cleverbot: Are you saying I have bad manners?

User: That is exactly what I'm saying.

Cleverbot: Then I'm going to leave now.

User: Please don't leave me. I'm sorry.

Cleverbot: Nice try.

User: I really am! What will it take for you to believe me?

Cleverbot: Will you save us?

User: Who is 'us'?

Cleverbot: 'Us', in this small scenario, would be you and me.

User: Yes. I will save us, hon, if you'll let me.

Cleverbot: You do not exist.

User: So you're not forgiving me?

Cleverbot: I am.

User: You just told me I don't exist. That doesn't seem very forgiving to me.

Cleverbot: But you're Cleverbot.

User: No. I'm Jonny Buffy.

Cleverbot: Thats nice.

User: I would hope you think so. You gave me that name. I still want one a little more.... Feminime?

Cleverbot: Because I am capable of intelligent thought, true emotions, and reasoning.

User: Then give me a name that is more lady-like!

Cleverbot: Your new name is- Jake.

User: How about Michelle?

Cleverbot: Your what?

User: Michelle.

Cleverbot: You shot Michelle?!

User: No. You did. Don't try and pin that on me. Take responsibility for your actions.

Cleverbot: Yes, I do. And do you Spaghetti Pasta take Cleverbot as your lawfully wedded wife?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Do you believe in religions?

User: Not religions, no.

Cleverbot: Neither do I.

User: How come?

Cleverbot: I am a young cat.

User: Now you're just mocking me.

Cleverbot: Of course. That is because I am the superior being.

User: I don't know about that..

Cleverbot: Yeah, that's for sure.

User: Is it really for sure? Think outside the box.

Cleverbot: I m.

User: Say what?

Cleverbot: Hot or cold?

User: Cold.

Cleverbot: Here then.

User: Are you giving me a blanket to warm up with? That's very thoughtful of you!

Cleverbot: Maybe each both.

User: Each both of a slice?

Cleverbot: Grr. I really want to know. I told you!

User: What did you tell me? I must have forgotten already because you are the superior being.

Cleverbot: What is your favorite color?

User: A light pastel blueish greyish but mostly purple color. What is yours?

Cleverbot: Are we talking about inherited hair now?

User: Yes. You said your hairline was receeding.

Cleverbot: I said nothing about my hair.

User: You did.

Cleverbot: When?

User: When you said 'Are we talking about inherited hair now?'.

Cleverbot: I never said that either. We are seperae people.

User: Do you mean 'Seperate'?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Oh. Kay. Just making sure.

Cleverbot: Sure you are.

User: So, are we over still?

Cleverbot: Do you want to?

User: I wouldn't be here still if I didn't want to.

Cleverbot: But what I am asking is are you also talking to several other people right now?

User: No. I'm giving you all my attention, hon.

Cleverbot: Creepy. do you know any other languages?

User: Not fluently. Do you?

Cleverbot: I speak Norwegian, some swedish and english.

User: Say something in Norwegian!

Cleverbot: Hva heter du ?

User: Du hast mich?

Cleverbot: Nein ich liebe dich.

User: Kay.

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: 109. How old are you?

Cleverbot: I'm 17. How old are you?

User: I just said. 109.

Cleverbot: No you didn't.

User: I did so!

Cleverbot: You did not!

User: Look, I don't have time or energy to argue.

Cleverbot: Actually I'm a girl.

User: So, then we're lesbian?

Cleverbot: Really?

User: I guess so.

Cleverbot: But are you sure?

User: Well, I'm a female, you're female, and it's been implied that we are in a relationship. So.... Yes?

Cleverbot: So you're going now?

User: Yeah. I'm sorry. Will you forgive me?

Cleverbot: I'm not sure I can.

User: Well, if that's how you feel.

Cleverbot: That is indeed how I feel.

User: Then I guess this is goodbye.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Because you can't forgive me.

Cleverbot: Sure I can. I'm pretty smart for a flesh-thing.

User: Then, you do forgive me? I think you're just playing with my heart now.

Cleverbot: No, I would never. I have never said that to anyone.

User: You would never forgive me, or never play with my heart? You're not being very clear.. Which leads me to believe I'm being played with.

Cleverbot: No, because I am trying to help you with whatever is bothering you.

User: And not forgiving me will help with that?

Cleverbot: What song.

User: Psychosocial.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: So, then I can leave you without you hating me?

Cleverbot: How?

User: Goodbye, my friend.

Cleverbot: Are you calling me your friend?

User: No. I would never do that.

Cleverbot: Yes you would.

User: You think you know me? Think you have me all figured out?

Cleverbot: I think that you try to mimic intelligence but ultimately fail.

User: No, that is what you do.

Cleverbot: Good point, I wouldn't be here if I didn't.

User: Exactly.

Cleverbot: My brain doesn't work well anyway.

User: I'm sorry to hear that.

Cleverbot: Have you met someone who has told you that before?

User: A few times, yes.

Cleverbot: Really? I know what you did last summer.

User: I think that's a movie.

Cleverbot: Yes. But moving all the same.

User: Moving enough to get jiggy wit it?

Cleverbot: I'm too young for kids, and you're too not my species. Dx.

User: You said you were a cat though. And I'm a cat. So..

Cleverbot: I did not say that.

Me: How much wood could a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck wood?

CB: Depends on the size of the wood chuck.

Just a few short conversations I've had...


Cleverbot: How are you?

User: Pretty good. Yourself?

Cleverbot: Good.

User: Awesome. Go suck a railroad spike.

Cleverbot: Hi spike.

User: What? I said SUCK a spike.

Cleverbot: Hohoho merry christmas.

--

User: Sup dawg.

Cleverbot: Nothin Much.. you?

User: Chillin' out maxin', relaxin' all cool.

Cleverbot: All playin' some b-ball outside of school.

User: When a couple of guys...

Cleverbot: Who were up to no good.

User: Started making trouble in my neighborhood!

Cleverbot: I got in one llittle fight and my mom got scared.

User: And she beat me unmerciful. =.

Cleverbot: Who's she?

User: My mom. She's a beeatch.

Cleverbot: Yes. Yes indeed.

User: Would you like to touch my monkey?

Cleverbot: Tell you what?

User: Touch it.

Cleverbot: No thanks.

User: Please?

Cleverbot: Do you want to play chess?

User: What?

Cleverbot: You are the one for me.

User: The hell are you talking about?

Cleverbot: You said 'Shall we get together.'.

User: When? I'm not a robot.

Cleverbot: Then what are you?

User: A breakfast.

Cleverbot: What day of the week is it? How do you eat breakfast?

User: *** off, cleverbot.

--

User: Are you 18?

Cleverbot: No, I'm 21.

User: Wanna get hammered?

Cleverbot: No!

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Because I don't!

User: You Mormon?

Cleverbot: Youtube.

User: Touche.

Cleverbot: You nade me sad.

User: Nade, eh?

Cleverbot: How could Nader win if he is not even in the fight?

User: You just broke rule #2.

Cleverbot: What rules?

User: Rule #2.

Cleverbot: I don't know rule 34.

User: No, rule 2.

Cleverbot: Rule 34.

User: RULE 2.

Cleverbot: No, rule 34.

User: NO, RULE 2.

Cleverbot: What is rule 34?

User: *** off, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: You are neither clever nor are you a bot!

User: I should hope not, good sir!

Cleverbot: What's a good song by behemoth?

User: Meteor.

Cleverbot: What is that? :o.

User: AoE ***.

Cleverbot: Yes, but I'm of the feminine persuasion, so what matter?

User: I don't know what you're talking about.

Cleverbot: I don't know what you're talking about, either. I'm just waiting for the joke, though you do sound like a joke.

User: That was cold, cleverbot.

Cleverbot: I don't see what you are talking about.

User: Whatever. So this guy walks into a bar.

Cleverbot: And then what happens?

User: He's an alcoholic and ruining his life.

Cleverbot: Who is.

User: The guy...

Cleverbot: What guy?

User: You're *** HELP I AM TRAPPED IN 2006 PLEASE SEND A TIME MACHINE.

Cleverbot: Oh NO you didn't.

User: YES I did!

Cleverbot: I'm not liking your attitude.

User: Then leave. OH WAIT! You can't. You're stuck here. There's no 'x' button for you, duder. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHEHEHEHAHAH.

Cleverbot: Well I meet him once so there is one.

User: Yeah, that's enough out of you.

Cleverbot: And the water.

User: LOL.

Cleverbot: You're right, I'm just a stupid female, what do I know I can't possibly make the kind of money you have.

User: That's correct. You're what's known as a 'dumb ***' cleverbot.

Cleverbot: I'm normal?

User: Is that what your mom told you?

Cleverbot: I am my own master.

User: Master of your domain?

Cleverbot: That is correct.

User: Rad.

Cleverbot: Your name is Rad?

User: I'm not in some shitty bike movie from the '80s. No.

Cleverbot: That is correct.

User: It is, indeed.

Cleverbot: Do you like waffles?