Final Fantasy XIV Database - Ffxivpro.com

heya rooks how's things and stuff?

Phrasing BOOM!

Don't think I've ever had much trouble putting together furniture by myself. Usually pretty easy to notice the differences. But almost every time I do it with more than 1 person... Either people hurt themselves or go way too fast and it just ends badly. lol

you have to lay all of the parts out on the floor and assemble it in your mind first... that way you can see if there are any design flaws...

I put the screws and small parts on the page of the manual with their picture on it and then memorize them, if the manual has one of those. a lot of screws look similar but there are usually other clues like one is 2 1/2" and the other is 2 3/4 and you can see which one is longer. or you can tell by the item quantity how many is in the bag etc.

obligatory:

the future is stupid.

Today's "Spath's Random Whatever Of The Day" is brought to you by;

Ikea!

Because if you're not screaming profanities and causing bodily harm, are you really getting the furniture you deserve?

yeah MOFO's!

/boogies

I've got nothing interesting. still playing conan exiles with sugar britches and them... still gritting my teeth with a silent scream in my throat.... the kids are still cute.... life is...

PARKER Edit: It's Dance Party Friday!!!

yeah! she is already used to all my varying degrees of crazy. I don't think I have the heart to un-nerve someone like that all over again.

I know where I'm headed if that happens....

I agree wholeheartedly. If the worst should befall the wife and I, I think I'd just get prostitutes for the rest of my life. depending on local quality I guess....

Guinness World Records lists the oldest father ever as Australian Les Colley (1898-1998), who fathered his ninth child at age 92 with a Fijian woman he met through a dating agency.

what a *** idiot...didn't even make it to the kid's 10th birthday...

ho ho ho, that's a good one.

/collapses in chair
/throws his hazmat suit in the corner

it was just zika virus... I've been trying to piggyback it off the a flu or cold virus... /rubs temples

you didn't want any more kids right? /sips coffee

I know I'm all done..../phew
just thinking about it makes me tired...

so I'm good in the rest of the castle without this stupid suit! sounds good.

/ditcheshazmatsuit

I can handle a lil' ebola anyway.

[fast announcer voice]
PARKER feed all of the left over chinese food, from yesterday's buffet, to the robot, who went berserk, smashed into the infectious disease laboratory, which was then sealed off by HAL who Nik is now fighting with to regain control of the lab...

/stumblesindoningahazmatsuit

ooH wtf is this ***? can't I just drink some coffee in peace?

STFU HAL!!! I'm working on it!!!...

[insert button clicking sound here]

open the pod bay doors HAL!



...you son of a ***...

PARKER! throw this monkey wrench at HAL

/throws down pen

NOW WHAT!?

PARKER!!!

[muttering] stupid bio-hazard suit zipper always sticks....[/muttering]

/coffee

/long stare into space

/deep sigh

what's that PARKER? someone in oregon hit powerball?... oh well.
good for them. [muttering] stupid lucky little jerks [/muttering]

well....help me organize my desk then... it looks like a robot puked broken parts all over it...and then...

hey wait a minute.... /carefully examines oil spot

WTF did you feed the ROBOT!?!?!

/stares at the clock

ok PARKER... I'm never going to make it...

it's officially plan an escape from the office o'clock...

I want you to think of an excuse or a minor crisis that will get me out of here early. Not, I repeat, NOT create a real crisis... just a PUT THAT GAS CAN DOWN!!! /rubs temples

ok never mind.... go get me some darts, a dartboard and some 3x5 cards with excuses written on them like dentist, eye doctor, real doctor appointments, office supply gathering, hardware store run, machine shop run, electronics store run.... make twenty excuses and put them over the numbers

agreed...

PARKER!!