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By . on 2017-06-27 14:12:13 |
I skipped ahead to the last sentence, wasn't disappointed. Enlightenment was still found. |
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By Shiva. Nikolce on 2017-06-27 13:58:32 |
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so if you can imagine... the so called 'real world'... is only our perception of our surroundings, which are made up of electrical impulses from our five senses, that are then interpreted by our brains.
all of the other 'people' we converse with in our own perception of reality has their own interpretation on the same information filtered through their own sensory input system
and we're able to combine different images and bring them into the real world at least in the form of art like a painting of a dragons or a hr giger alien drawling.
and if you look closely there is nothing unique about the images at all they are all just exagerations and different combinations of things that already exist in this real world
so we can see reality itself scewing between individual experiances and perception and determine using the 'duck test' that if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck then it's probably a duck and if it's not a duck than who really gives a ***...
it either is a duck and everybody else sees it acting as a duck or it's just my imagination and if I just ignore it then it probably wont bother anybody else anyways...
and then some kid shouts 'hey mommy look at that duck following that guy around' and at first you are relieved that you aren't the only one seeing the duck but then the mom says STOP LYING
so if it's true that we are in fact one in a million but there are seven billion people on the planet then simple math dictates that there are at least seven thousand of me running around right now.
which is either calming or unnerving based on your perception
so somewhere there are 6,999 other crazy *** trying to explain to someone just like you dingdongs that it doesn't matter whether we exist or not due to the sheer volume of our collective nonexistant experiances we're created a reality that even if we are the only ones that can percieve then it really isn't any different than our imagination anyways... so nobody gives a ***.
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By Shiva. Nikolce on 2017-06-27 13:02:21 |
But rest assured; if there's a reality, I can make it damp.
yeah but we can only measure that kind of dampness in the ethereal plane...
with the remograstatic hydrofeelnalysis detector I stole from the japs at kawasaki R and D.... they had it coming... they stole my fuzzy logic controller and were using it for intelligent water propultion system design...dirty sons of ***. |
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By . on 2017-06-27 12:16:56 |
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But rest assured; if there's a reality, I can make it damp.
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By Shiva. Nikolce on 2017-06-27 12:03:38 |
It's like you people don't pay attention....
it's ok...I did the math and there is a disturbingly high probability that I don't exist at all...and guess what that means PARKER?...
yeah...that we're both figments of Mosin's imagination... and he is stuck in a coma... /shows you the equation on the whiteboard
in more than one of all the theoretically possible timelines Mosin never walked away from that accident twenty years ago and we're both hallucinations caused by doctors in the really real world tinkering with his medications to try to snap him out of it...
“If I am dreaming let me never awake, If I am awake let me never sleep.” |
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By Siren. Mosin on 2017-06-27 11:45:33 |
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It's like you people don't pay attention....
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By Shiva. Nikolce on 2017-06-27 11:45:13 |
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also I have a vast videographic memory of every bad book, movie, tv commercial and television show ever made which I call upon to help find solutions to problems... /gives you a quick tour of the lab
98% of the things in this lab were stolen /points at various apparatus
the gamma ray accelerator, the time machine, the laser beam cutters, the death ray, the antimatter weapons, we even stole the improbability drive... I had to install the clear dome over top of it to stop PARKER from pressing it and the history eraser button...
some things like the large hadron collider...we use mostly to make Meshi his tea in the afternoons.... well because if boiling water is good then accelerating the particles is probably better... plus it's at least 300% cooler than that stupid keurig...
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By Shiva. Nikolce on 2017-06-27 11:10:36 |
Is this dance party Tuesday now or did I lose 4 days of my week?
I think it's "Jewby Tuesday ~ Temporary Name" aka Bagel Tuesday which was motioned for by Mosin later revised to Deli Tuesday to incorprate other foodstuffs and then revised further but I think it's stuck in committee waiting for a response from the anti defamation league and the Mossad...
hey those guys are really really really really good at krav maga....you should have seen what they did to PARKER |
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Is this dance party Tuesday now or did I lose 4 days of my week?
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By Shiva. Nikolce on 2017-06-27 10:41:54 |
ok... the Tron idea is going in the wrong direction PARKER and let's face it, neither one of us is smart enough to outwit the master control program...
you lost at the I/O tower, the MCP cone, the battle tanks and the light cycles...you have to win all four like twelve times in a row!!
no... as much as I enjoy watching you lose.. it's time to try something else... /thinks /finger snaps
that's it! Weird Science!
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By Shiva. Nikolce on 2017-06-27 10:28:59 |
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By Shiva. Nikolce on 2017-06-27 10:24:25 |
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By Shiva. Nikolce on 2017-06-27 10:23:08 |
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this morning he ran his car out of gas...
I was out of town or I probably could have helped him out...
reluctantly...
ok I'm a bad person and I'm going to hell
but I need to find a way that he doesn't rely on me...
wait a minute...
I know what he needs...
he needs his very own PARKER!
to hold onto his phone and his wallet and his keys and everything else he losses everyday... and fill up his car with gas and drive him around or at least pull up a map when he gets lost..make sure he takes his meds and his blood pressure and check his blood for sugar...write things down... remember things for him.
hmmmm.... PARKER is already an unholy abomination... do I dare attempt to Tron him into the physical world to work as an unpaid assistant to my father in law?... yes, yes I do.
PARKER! to the lab!
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By Shiva. Nikolce on 2017-06-26 14:49:25 |
everyone feels old on monday.
not my father in law! of course it's the same father in law who has suffered a series of strokes. >.> he doesn't know it's monday...
he had another one of his eternal sunshine of the spotless mind weekends in which he spent most of time trying to start an argument with me for reasons unknown but presumed sinister... some ancient grudge he can no longer remember but he is still seeking to even the score on... probably marrying his daughter.
first he called my emergency cell phone number, either instead of / or directly after not getting an answer at my home phone (which I never answer), so it confused him (he was thinking he called the house) when I answered my own phone... probably because he wanted to speak to my wife and it threw him off when I answered and then he asked me why I wasn't at work because he thought it was friday and I told him it was saturday and we were grocery shopping...
no you called my cell phone...
no we're not at home...
no you called my cell phone...
no she's with me...
no we're out grocery shopping...
because it's saturday morning and we needed a few things..
no it's saturday...
I'm pretty sure...
look... did you need help with something? or can we perhaps do this another time? I'm kind of in the middle of something...
yeah... grocery shopping...
yeah... it's saturday....
ok... buh~bye then... /hang up
I never did find out why he called....
/feels a little bad about it
Breaking news from eight years ago, only on the Rip Van Winkle radio network!...
and then sunday he had some sort of epiphany that obamacare sucks... and I was like...yes...yes it does suck...mmhmm...couldn't agree with you more on that one...yeah that one guy...Jonathan Gruber...yeah and then if you like your plan thing uh huh obama said that...yep... yeah it's all bad ...
I'm going to go down to the social security office ....uh oh ... and I'm going make them pay all my medical bills I don't think I have enough cash for bail money...WHAT!?...and they'll probably take you all the way downtown BUT I PAID ALL THAT MONEY... since it's on federal property... IT'S GOT TO BE ILLEGAL ...felony menacing probably.... THEY TOOK MY MONEY FOR ALL THOSE YEARS AND NOW I GOTTA PAY FOR PART B!....actually the window closed again and you can't get part b until next year...WHAT!? we tried to get you to go every day for three months...
but... um... more importantly why are you getting excited/upset/trying to start a fight with me about it now?...obamacare was like... eight years ago...
and he was all "I just figured it out!!!"
good lord...how many more of these episodes can there possibly be?...and which one will get him stuck in a home forever...
ok he forgets things...no big deal...
he loses his cell phone and wallet... but most people call us.....
he gets lost driving...but people help him out...
he doesn't know what day it is... who cares he doesn't have to be anywhere..
but at some point he's going to confront the wrong someone and they're going to call the huge guys in the white ambulance with the giant butterfly nets...and thank god he didn't go sideways when I was in china...should I get an account set up with a bail bondsman now...or hold off...
/looks into it
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What...
Who...
Birthdays?
Happy Birthday, whoever you are...
*passes out in coffee mug*
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By . on 2017-06-26 13:35:58 |
That time Misa visited Mosin
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By Siren. Mosin on 2017-06-26 12:53:09 |
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everyone feels old on monday.
/garfieldpicture
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By . on 2017-06-26 10:53:44 |
HAPPY BDAAAAAAAY
GUESS WHAT....
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HAPPY BDAAAAAAAY
GUESS WHAT....
YOU ARE OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD
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By . on 2017-06-26 09:15:58 |
PARKER Edit: Melancholy Monday Pity Party Protocol~ Activated YouTube Video Placeholder |
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By Shiva. Nikolce on 2017-06-26 09:14:02 |
I like to pretend that ANOTHER GUY is the corporate slave, It's not really me, & I'm not here.
yeah... it's almost daydream about winning powerball o'clock...
i'll have twenty five years in august...
fifteen more to go... /sigh |
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By Siren. Mosin on 2017-06-26 09:08:13 |
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I like to pretend that ANOTHER GUY is the corporate slave, It's not really me, & I'm not here.
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By Shiva. Nikolce on 2017-06-26 08:42:40 |
/coffee
PARKER Edit: Melancholy Monday Pity Party Protocol~ Activated
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By . on 2017-06-23 13:03:12 |
PARKER says he was going more for an eighties synthesizer.. kind of dance vibe...but... he'll reluctantly jig anyways
/jig
Let's bash the two together and they can have a drunken 80s party romp:
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By Shiva. Nikolce on 2017-06-23 12:45:53 |
PARKER says he was going more for an eighties synthesizer.. kind of dance vibe...but... he'll reluctantly jig anyways
/jig
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By . on 2017-06-23 12:20:42 |
Have an Irish jig!
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(Only using the video from Titanic because I saw the band in concert that performed the music for this scene last week.) |
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By Shiva. Nikolce on 2017-06-23 08:39:51 |
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By Shiva. Nikolce on 2017-06-23 08:39:13 |
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By Shiva. Nikolce on 2017-06-23 08:38:52 |
idk... I think misao has a valid point...
/coffee
I had a long *** about work all typed up... but to hell with it.
/crumples it up and throws it away
PARKER!
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By Siren. Mosin on 2017-06-22 19:19:23 |
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what? *** that.
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