Final Fantasy XIV Database - Ffxivpro.com

Hey all

I didn't mean the booze itself.

Just the act of getting fired for drinking at work.


Always pleasant.

Red Bull and Vodka...

thank you PARKER...yeah... that's been the choice of imaginary champions for a while now...jock *** getting all amped up on caffeine and vodka... go get in a fight with a brick wall and lose...

john drinks five hour energy drinks and vodka to get mean....

I'm getting old or something...*** that. I would rather stare at a fire or ocean waves on a beach

amen.

You got a lot of nerve besmirching the good name of alcohol in here!


because you always wanted to be a dumb pollack!?

look if scotch is a bit too pricey, try a double jim beam. whiskeys by their very nature are more warm and soothing with that rich smokey golden smoothness... /drools

vodka...idk...vodka has more of a /swirls hand around... "angry taste"... like vengeance....the kinda drink you throw back before some chick kicks you in the balls...

it kinda burns your throat punishing you for choosing it...it stays cold like an elderly siberian dyke....even if you boil it... probably...

if you want to get mean why not pop an amphetamine first...

beer is your buddy... and whisky is your old friend... but vodka... is like that one guy with the bulging eyeballs that no one is sure who invited him along that likes to get drunk and run over rabbits in a corn field...he is nobody's friend but it's your fault he's at the party...type of thing.. and there is now like a 95% chance of property damage and hurt feelings...or puking in a toilet.

you need to chillax big guy. if you are putting yourself in situations that you that you think vodka will help... then that's bad planning on your part... you need to borrow flavin's lawn chair and go park your butt outside somewhere quiet and get your mind right.

If my father's experience is any indication, it's not the problem solver you think it might be.

However, to my knowledge, you are not a radio personality. So your mileage may vary.

I've been drinking a lot of vodka lately instead of whiskey for reasons that aren't particularly clear. maybe THAT'S the answer! drink at work! then maybe I'll get fired too and kill two birds with one stone. we might have something here gents...

Oneal Ron Morris could probably squeeze us in on short noti... what's that PARKER?...oh yeah?...when?...wow.. how long is he going in for?....ten years huh...no we probably don't have that long to wait...yeah he probably wont be able to do your pecs either...go ahead and cancel that appointment.

hmmmm. /drums fingers on desk

I thought about having an on/off switch installed....somewhere discreet... like behind an ear. But it automatically raised two questions... what are the chances anyone would leave it off when you wanted them to? and what are the chances anyone would turn it back on?...

I don't want to end up like that diving bell and the butterfly guy...can't even jack off when you're bored..die of pneumonia because it's too hard to spell with eye blinks....

all the chemicals I tried are temporary...and eventually lose their effectiveness... /considers it a long time

I'm going to go ahead and stick with my original recommendation of scotch.

a good belt of scotch should put you down for at least four or five hours...you can still function in emergency situations...the side effects are manageable...

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

can a guy get a labotomy for funsies? or is that a home surgery nowadays?

/drags himself in

is it friday yet? /looks at the calendar

no...



it's evil thursday (temporary name) the worst day of the week according to good old whatshername...yeah... the kid that doesn't post here any more...the fat kid from indianapolis that pretends he is an italian girl one of these other a~holes probably stalked him down

I don't know about every thursday but this one sure sucks camel *** in the desert.

I won't tell anybody...

and who is PARKER going to tell?

PARKER /starts to answer

Nikolce uses /frypan <t=PARKER> *it's super effective*

nobody!

/tosses frypan back on the conference table

that thing is solid weighsatononium he won't be telling anyone anything for a few hours...

I'm jealousy incarnate.

PARKER get some dancers on that beach to liven things up...

meshi is going to come back all george hamilton levels of tan...

wait... it's chinese wednesday PARKER find some chinese surf music

I've been feeling the same way all week buddeh....

It's almost as if there is a huge summer beach party going on all month in Narnia and everyone but the four of us was invited....
/notices PARKER getting a little sweaty
/stares deeper at PARKER

SO you do know where everyone else is!? you ***!

welcome to the club!

as your mind slowly deteriorates with age here are some handy tips to help you cope with your desent into madness...

The ants are really the worst part of any psychotic break.

Oh Sure some people will argue that the homicidal rage and the unquenchable lust for property destruction are the worst... FOR THEM maybe... sure... ok... but for me personally it's the ants.

I try to brush them off as casually as possible so as not to attract attention... or try to crush one on the back of my hand but the sooner you realize that you can't inflict any damage on them in the real world the quicker you can go back to ignoring them...

of course that's easy for me to say since I haven't had them in my eye yet...

Oh man, I really could have used you growing up. I went on that same spiel one time and all my *** friends told me that didn't make any sense and I should shut up. ,,, .now that I think about it that's been my whole life really.